Post-Christmas Report from Sheryl

Christmas was special by my return home to enjoy family and friends after my hospital stay. Had one of my life-long friends, Linda, here for a couple days visit and Jennifer & Kuba for Christmas. Despite the past months of hospital stays, I feel refreshed being home and among family and friends again in a normal setting.

My boxer, Thatcher, is beside himself with my being home. He shadows me 24/7! Jennifer is extending her stay to help me for a few extra days, thank goodness. On Wednesday, however, I'll have my box of kleenex handy as she has to go back home to catch up for about a week. (Therefore, drop-ins welcome!) Geoff & Heather will be here on the 16th for 3 days, which will be great.

Look forward to catching up/reconnecting with those who have shown such support. I am having PT/OT in my home several times a week in effort to fully recover in a hopefully short stint of time.

Feel free to give me a call at my house, 405-285-5558, to catch up.

Sheryl

Home for the Holidays

Hi Everyone. Mom will be discharged from Mercy rehab tomorrow, heading home. The doctor thinks she'll be on "home health" for about 4 weeks before she'll start on outpatient therapy. I think home health sounds like house-arrest... she won't be able to leave the house except to go to church, the doctor or to get her hair done. House-arrest without the ankle bracelet! While mom has home health, she'll have OT and PT 2 - 3 times each in her home each week.

Since she'll be home-bound, I'm sure she'll be happy to see visitors! I'll be here until Sunday, 12/28, when I head back to Indy. Christmas Day will be a bit sparse for mom, since I spend that day at my dad's, so, if any of you are out and about, give mom a ring and stop by. There's plenty of home-made egg nog at her house, ready to be consumed!

I will, most likely, come back to OK again in a couple of weeks to help out one more time before mom is completely on her own.

Happy Holidays.

love,
jennifer

Going Home Soon

Hi Everyone. Mom's medical/therapy team had their meeting this morning, and it looks like mom will be going home on Tuesday! She will need to modify a few things in her house and will use a walker and wheelchair to get around until she is stable on her feet. Once home, she'll have home health-care checking in on her several times a day and doing her PT/OT at her house with her. After she is adjusted to home and is moving around more easily, she will begin out-patient therapy, which she will need for a couple more months. I will be in OK until 12/28, so I'll help her until then.

She saw an orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Hale, today. He is looking at her left shoulder to see what they can do to increase her range of motion. He's asking PT to get more aggressive with their therapy, but might do another x-ray to check things out. He's also going to x-ray both feet to see if they can get mom into some more comfortable, less obstructive, foot supports. The boots she is wearing now are quite heavy and cumbersome, and the bottoms are angled, much like she's walking on little hooves. They'll also be fitting her with a new wrist brace for her right hand before she heads home, so that she'll be better able to use her hand. Then, time will tell if the radial nerve, which was damaged when the humerus fractured, will heal itself.

Today, they will move mom into an apartment on this floor, so that she can see what's it like to go back home. The room has a regular bed, couch, and a kitchenette with a fridge and microwave. She's excited to have a bigger room with more windows at least!

That's it for now.

love,
jennifer

Okie Christmas

Hi Everyone. I got back to OK last night and will be here through Christmas. Mom is doing well and might get to go home as early as next week! She will still have to have outpatient physical therapy, but getting home will be good for her morale. Although mom is happy to be back in OK, being in the hospital, so close to her home, at Christmas-time, is certainly taking a toll on her spirits.

Feel free to give her a call and come by and see her. Her afternoons and evenings are generally pretty free. Just be sure to call first, as she has a different therapy schedule each day.

love,
jennifer

We're Back!!!

Hey Gang,

So we made it, but it would not be like us to do anything easy! At 9:45 on Fri morning, we rolled up to SFO in plenty of time to make our 11:40 departure. Well, our flight was delayed, meaning that we would miss our connector in Denver. "Are you in the car there," the attendant asked as she looked over at Mom, who had not yet gotten out of the car and into the wheelchair. "Yeah, that's us." "Well," she replied, "I can get you on a flight out of Oakland at 11:00 if you think you can make it." "Print the passes, we've got to roll!" We high-tailed it over the Bay Bridge to the Oakland airport. I pulled to the curb and went to check in. I almost kicked a kid out of his wheelchair, until I noticed his "Make a Wish" hat. Better to let him have it? With Heather's help, we got Mom into the chair and through security where she was thoroughly inspected. I sprinted through the terminal fast enough that Mom looked like she was in a wind storm. We made the flight and she did all her transfers with no problems. Back in OKC we found that our bags were lost. Great. Long story short, Mom's in the hospital, we got our bags, and all's quiet on the Okie front. Her address is Mercy Hospital, 4300 West Memorial Rd, RM 265, OKC, OK 73120. Give a call if you plan to stop by, as she has therapies throughout the day. Now on to Mom herself...

Look forward to hearing from everyone. I have bouts of acute cabin fever, but light at the end of the tunnel is now becoming visible. Got to do therapy now, so I'll catch you all later.

Sheryl

Red Dirt & Armadillos

Mom got the green light today to transfer back to Oklahoma tomorrow. Dr. Coufal is pleased with her progress and wants her to continue with rehabilitation, beginning to walk with the support of parallel bars as soon as possible. He expects that she'll need inpatient rehabilitation for 3 - 4 more weeks.

So, Mom will be transferring to Mercy Rehabilitation Center tomorrow! She is excited to get back to OK, to the "red dirt and armadillos" as she put it to Mabel, the CPMC Case Manager. Mom is a bit nervous about the changes ahead and the travel time tomorrow, as she hasn't sat upright yet for as long as she'll need to tomorrow. Luckily, her and Geoff's flight has a quick plane change in Denver, giving them as quick and straight a shot as possible between SF and OKC.

I know that many of you are eager to go visit Mom once she gets back on her home turf. She is excited to see you, too! I'll post her phone number and room number as soon as she is checked in and has her room set up tomorrow. Please give her a call before dropping by to see her, as she'll have frequent therapy sessions daily.

love,
jennifer

Road Trip

Hi Everyone. Tomorrow morning, Geoff will take Mom to Walnut Creek for her appointment with Dr. Coufal. This will be her first ride in the car since the accident. I think she's okay with it, as she's ready to just get out of the hospital for a little while. Geoff's a brave soul for being her driver on her first trip out.... I told him to just put earplugs in and ignore her. (Kidding, of course.) Tomorrow, we should find out the exact course of action for Mom's treatment. What that is will determine the level of care Mom will now require as she continues her recovery.

Mom will be transferring back to Oklahoma on Friday. We won't know, for sure, where she will go until after her appointment tomorrow. We will keep you posted. Mom is really excited to get back to OK, back near her friends, and closer to home. Being in California has really taken its toll on her morale the last few weeks. Geoff will fly with her on Friday and stay until Monday. I'll be there next Wednesday and will stay through Christmas.

That's all for now. We'll update you tomorrow after the road trip.

love,
jennifer

smooth as butter

Geoff and I drove over to the hospital yesterday so Sheryl could practice transferring into our car. Two of her very wonderful PTs Brian and Melissa guided her through the steps. Melissa's explanation was 1, 2, 3 and voilá into the car. And Sheryl followed 1, 2, 3, and voilá into the car she went. All by herself. Sheer determination on her face, Sheryl looked smooth as butter. Speaking of smooth, we were hoping to take her for ice cream but she wasn't cleared by her doctor. We weren't really up for creating a hostage situation for a scoop of Birite, although it IS worth it. We suggested Sheryl get a hall pass and we'll take her for a preliminary spin sometime before the trip over to Walnut Creek for her appointment with Dr. Coufal on Thursday.

I know Sheryl still has a ways to go. I do however think it is so amazing to think she is about 3-4 months ahead of schedule from the original prognosis. Her body gave her such an amazing gift of bones healing so fast and in places where the docs didn't think it would on its own. Amongst the chaos, there is so much to be grateful for.

Squat & Pivot

Hi All. A quick update on mom before bed... Mom has been on her feet a lot since Friday. She started out standing for as long as she could, and has progressed to being able to assist in her transfers (from bed to wheelchair, wheelchair to bed, etc.). This is called a "squat and pivot" transfer, as the therapist/nurse squats in front of mom while she leans onto the therapist for support during the transfer. As she stands, she quickly pivots to the next surface to complete the transfer. She has also taken a couple of steps with a walker for assistance.

During a transfer yesterday, she twisted her ankle. They did an x-ray and nothing is broken, so they have her doing as much PT as possible, using pain as her guide, so the muscles don't atrophy. She would much rather take a break from weight-bearing activity until the ankle feels better, but, alas, the therapists have other plans for her!

The case manager at CPMC is working on mom's transfer back to Oklahoma, hopefully as early as 12/12. Mom's appointment with her orthopedic surgeon is 12/11, so we're hoping she gets the go ahead to move closer to home. She'll need to go into inpatient rehab for at least a couple of weeks before going back to her house in order to get more independent.

I'm heading back to Indy tomorrow until 12/15. If mom transfers back to OK before then, Geoff will travel with her and I'll just head to OK for the holidays.

That's it for now.

love,
jennifer

MRI Results fromSheryl...

No need for surgery on shoulder, just PT until it heals. I stood up today with help from the PT. Felt like I was supporting 900 pounds, as my feet are waking up again. But the beginning of a better chapter.

Everybody send me some news please, or call.

Love,

Sheryl

from sheryl

first and last turkey day in the hospital hope i hope for sure.

just passing thru to greet friends on this special day.

jenn, kuba, geoff and heather brought me home cooking for my holiday meal this evening.

get back with you folks later. see you in december.

sheryl

Happy Thanksgiving

Hi Everyone. Mom had an MRI today on her left shoulder. She was anxious about being in that tube for so long, but she did great. We hope to have the results in the next few days.

She should begin bearing weight on her feet Friday! Geoff and I have been giving her foot rubs to help desensitize the nerves in her feet, and she's been working on a CPM maching (continual passive motion) on both legs to get them ready to be vertical.

Kuba arrives this evening and will be here until Saturday night. Geoff, Heather, Kuba and I will head to Palo Alto for tomorrow afternoon to have Thanksgiving with our dad, step-mom and that side of our family. We'll be at the hospital with mom on both sides of that outing.

It's hard to be entering the holiday season dealing with this situation, but, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am eternally grateful for the life of my mom.

Hug your loved ones tomorrow.

love,
jennifer

Boo or Boo Hoo?? (a message from Sheryl)

I appreciate the inquiries from such good friends at an extremely difficult time for me. I am hopeful that this trial will result in my full recovery. It is scary losing function of all four limbs at the same time, but much improvement has occurred since the onset of this nightmare. So, I remain encouraged.

For all you brave souls that stand by me and send me good energy, I tell you that it is making the difference. All the e-mails, cards, flowers, calls and personal visits from all over the country will never be forgotten.

Jennifer and Geoff have absolutely shadowed me through this whole experience. Jennifer has been an angel, being the daughter that I'm so proud of. Geoff is balancing his full-time work schedule with his share of the caregiving as well. He could model for men, who have loved ones in this kind of situation. As a man, he has shown selfless effort to support me in every way and to lend support to his sister, who is pretty beaten up by this, also. Heather is the third point of the triangle and she has been fantastic.

Selfishly, as I spend weeks forward in my hospital bed, I admit that I hope that all of you will continue to stay connected with me. I never realized how powerful contact from loved ones meant until I met this crisis. So, thank you for everything and anything you have done and will do to support me. I'm reaching out.

This Thanksgiving is going to be different, but only to make me better look forward to the holiday next year and to Christmas this year back in Oklahoma.

love,
Sheryl

Saturday Update

Hi Everyone. Sorry it's been a week since our last post. In the last week, I have returned to SF from Indianapolis, and did not have internet access until yesterday. Geoff has been completely swamped with work, and, when we're at the hospital with mom, we aren't blogging!

Mom is continuing to progress. Her therapies are a bit lighter until she is able to bear weight on her feet next Friday. Until then, her OT and PT are still working with her mobility in her arms, hands and wrists. Her right wrist seems to be getting a little better, although only time will tell the extent of her nerve damage and what long-term affects it will have, if any. She wears a splint on that wrist, which keeps it at a neutral angle, so that the wrist won't "drop" and get stuck in that position. Mom is really good about doing her hand exercises in between therapy sessions. She's determined to have her right hand and wrist work again. Mobility in both hands, wrists and arms will be necessary for her to assist with her transfers (from bed to wheelchair, etc.), and being able to transfer will allow her to head back to OK more quickly. All of this motivates her to work hard on her own when her therapists aren't present and working with her.

Mom's rehabilitation doctor wants her to have an MRI of her left shoulder on Monday. Dr. Coufal confirmed that it was fractured, but Dr. Rome wants an MRI to know exactly what is going on. We'll keep you posted.

Mom's next appointment with Dr. Coufal is December 11. At that point, we should find out more about when she can go back to OK. I'm certain that she'll need to go back into rehab in OK until she gets steady enough on her feet to go home and get around safely and independently. Mom is eager to get back home... to Oklahoma in the short term, and ultimately to her house, with Thatcher and her friends nearby.

Geoff & I will be researching rehab facilities in the North Oklahoma City/Edmond area, so please let us know if you know of any.

love,
jennifer

Moon Boots and Bone Growth

Good News from mom's 4-hour visit with Dr. Coufal! Her left femur will NOT require a bone graft, as the bone is healing well on its own. It's pretty amazing, really. Perhaps it's because mom loves spinach so much. Whatever it is, it is great that she won't have to have another surgery and that she'll be able to move forward on mobility and use of her legs simultaneously... no waiting for the left leg to heal from an additional surgery.

LEGS: Mom's casts were removed and she is now wearing walking casts ("moon boots" as she calls them), which keep her feet at a proper angle with her ankles. For the next two weeks, she will work on mobility in her feet and ankles, and, after that, she can begin to bear weight - just enough to "push off" and assist with transfers to/from the wheelchair, bed, etc.

LEFT ARM: Dr. Coufal confirmed that mom's left arm was fractured at the head of the humerus, which hadn't shown up in her original exams after the accident. This explains the pain she's been experiencing. Apparently, the arm is healing well on its own and will not require additional surgery.

RIGHT ARM: The fractured humerus has healed well and mom is able to bear weight with this arm. However, she does still need to do very thorough PT in order to correct the nerve damage she sustained (which has caused her wrist to "drop"). Coufal feels that she will have full use of her arm with plenty of PT to stretch the nerve out and get the hand working again.

Mom will go for a follow-up exam in one month. Dr. Coufal said, at that point, she should be able to travel in a wheelchair and regular car. This is good news on many fronts, since insurance isn't willing to cover mom's 3-hour round-trip ambulance ride to Brentwood today. Gotta love our healthcare system.

Mom is exhausted after such an eventful day. We're all happy that things continue to move forward in her recovery. No setbacks!

love,
jennifer

Brentwood Tomorrow

Hi All. Well, mom didn't go to Walnut Creek today, after all. Her appointment was cancelled because Dr. Coufal got called into trauma this morning. They've rescheduled for tomorrow morning, same time (9:15) in his Brentwood office, which is about twice as far as Walnut Creek.

Mom had a very light day today, since she was scheduled to go to her appointment, so she's especially bored! It's hard for her to be by herself for extended periods of time, since she's stuck in bed with no stimulus and nothing to do.

We'll post more of an update tomorrow after her appointment.

love,
jennifer

Back to Walnut Creek

Mom is heading back to Walnut Creek this morning for a follow-up visit with Dr. Coufal. (Yes, we finally heard back from his office yesterday.) Ambulance is still the only way for mom to safely travel, so they are scheduled to pick her up at 7:45AM for a 9:15 appointment. Geoff will be at CPMC this morning, up until the ambulance arrives, and will follow them to Walnut Creek and be there for the appointment. It's very likely that mom will, at least, get her casts (one on each leg) off at her appointment, and may also have some x-rays done to see how her bones are healing up. We should know a lot more after her appointment regarding her bone graft surgery and weight bearing status, which will lead to a better idea of her rehabilitation plan.

Fred, Patsy and Marilyn left on Wednesday. Mom had a great time having good friends around. From what she tells me, they had a lot of laughs, which is always good for healing! Linda heads out there this Saturday, and mom is excited to see her, as well.

More updates after mom's appointment today...

love,
jennifer

Halloween Pic...

Mom had been asking me to post this, and I finally did it! She had a nice weekend with Fred, Patsy and Marilyn and now it's back to business as usual. Heather and I were away for the weekend in Sonora and Yosemite. We finally got a little bit of a honeymoon. All for now.

Take care,

Geoff

Progress...

Hello All,

A short update from CPMC. Mom is making some good progress. She is now able to dress with some assistance, transfer herself into a wheelchair, eat and drink. She still has a long way to go, but has been remarkably upbeat the last day or so. The thought of her next surgery is a point of stress, as is the possibility that she may not make it back to 100%. I am hoping that she will, and she is doing everything she can to get there, she just had some rough injuries. We have to remember that we are just a couple of weeks into rehab, and that this will be a slow process. The medical system is as frustrating as ever. We have been waiting two weeks for a call from her ortho, and have heard nothing. Her treatment is being adversely affected by his lack of follow-through, and we are getting pretty fed-up. This whole thing has been tough to navigate. I hope we see some improvement in the health care system over the next four years, although I don't think anything short of single-payer is going to do much. Anyway... Mom appreciates all the cards and calls, and will be having visitors over the weekend. Heather and I are heading up to Sonora for the weekend to pretend that we are on a honeymoon. Not that the last two months haven't been great...

Love,

Geoff

Update from Indianapolis

Hi Everyone. I'm back in Indianapolis for a while. I have a catering job tomorrow night, which is good since I haven't been working since the accident. (Good for my sanity and for bill-paying!) It's been nice to be HOME. My kitty, Star, is pretty happy about it, too. Kuba will be here tomorrow night for the weekend, so it will be great to spend time with him as well.

Things are still good with mom. She continues to have intensive therapy each day, and is making progress. It's still surreal what has happened and how it has affected her. To celebrate things like her being able to put her shirt on by herself is a brand new thing. But, we celebrate nonetheless, as it is huge progress for her given her injuries.

We still have not heard back from her orthopedic surgeon. We are beyond disappointed. I have called him no less than 3 times, Geoff has called and faxed him a letter, the rehab case manager has called twice, and mom's rehab doctor has called once. We are in the process of getting a second opinion (and finding mom another surgeon) for her bone graft, but we need to get inside Dr. Coufal's head to find out some important stuff, that affects mom's therapy and rehabilitation plan... things like when can she use her right arm more, when can she bear weight on her legs and how much, when will her casts come off, etc. As I said, we are incredibly frustrated, as his lack of follow-up with us is, at this point, compromising mom's treatment and slowing down her progress. Argh.

Mom is getting her hair done tonight. Cut and color. She's been itching for this since she became alert. It's not easy to find a person, who does hair outside of a salon. This woman was doing mom's roommate's hair, so I got her to come back and do mom's. Hopefully, she'll do a good job! Regardless, I know it will feel good for mom to get a good shampoo and a haircut. She also had a massage today, so it's been a bit of pampering for her.

The rehab hospital did x-rays of mom's legs and left arm a couple of days ago. Her left arm has really been bothering her, so they want to find out what's going on, if anything. They did x-rays of her legs, as that's another thing we're unable to obtain from Dr. Coufal. We should know more tomorrow, after her rehab doctor, Dr. Rome, reads the films. We'll keep you posted.

Mom's friends, Fred, Patsy and Marilyn, are heading out to SF tomorrow. Thank you!! They'll be driving, so won't arrive in SF til Saturday night but will be there until Wednesday. Mom is really excited to see them. The following Saturday, her friend, Linda, will arrive until Monday, so mom will have lots of company the next week and a half.

That's it for now.

love,
jennifer

Monday Update

Happy Monday. I'm sure it's a good thing that we don't have as much to report each day on the blog. We are past the daily drama of extubation, feeding tubes, balancing medication, and moving out of ICU and Mom has moved in to a more stable environment.

She had lots of visitors this weekend. Ari & Andrew, two of Geoff's best friends from Norman, came to see her Saturday, which she loved, because they made her laugh so much. She also had visits from more friends - Jillian, Sam, Tina, Jon, Sherry and their adorable son, Ben - in the last several days. It's great for her to have visitors in the evenings, since that's the time of the day that is boring for her. Therapies are usually over by 4:30, so the rest of the day can be long. Hopefully, she'll be able to use the phone on her own soon, and feel up for calls, so she can pass some time catching up with everyone. She is still loving the e-mails that are being sent to her personal account (sherylwow3@aol.com), so keep them coming!

Still no word from Dr. Coufal, her orthopedic surgeon, so we have no updates regarding her final surgery. We will be calling him again today, as we'll do everyday until we hear back from him.

Heather, Geoff & I carved pumpkins in Mom's room on Friday night, so she has them displayed on her window sill. They have cheery faces and are pretty cute little guys!

I'm heading back to Indianapolis on Wednesday for about 10 days. I am really missing home - Kuba, Star (our kitty), my friends, our house, our bed, my pillow, my pots & pans! It will be nice to be there for a while.

More updates later.

love,
jennifer

Happy Halloween

Hi Everyone. Sorry it's been a few days since we posted an update. Now that Mom is more herself, we spend more time at the hospital than we do blogging!

She is showing signs of improvement everyday. It really is amazing how much mobility she has gained in the week she's been in rehab. As her OT described it, Mom is going from a state of complete dependence to becoming independent, and, at times, that transition is rough, as Mom discovers what she can and can't do. She has to overcome a lot of fears as she starts to move things around again, but she is doing really well. This morning, I took her breakfast (she is now completely sick of hospital food!) and she asked for me just to sit it down and let her feed herself. It's not always easy or tidy for her, but she's been really good about testing her limits vs. just letting us do everything for her.

Each day, I print the personal e-mails sent to her and read them to her. She enjoys them. Know that she hears them and enjoys them, even though she isn't able to respond to you right now! She had her first phone call yesterday, with her long-time friend, Linda. She's still not quite up to talking a lot, but I don't think it will be long. She still can't pick up a phone and put it to her ear, so phone calls require quite a bit of coordination. I know many of you are missing her voice, so I will be sure to let you know when she's ready to talk.

I'm awaiting a call back from Dr. Coufal, Mom's orthopedic surgeon, to find out when her bone graft will be, and to ask some questions about her weight bearing status in her right arm and leg, which will affect her PT and OT. We should have a much better idea about her treatment plan once he calls me back.

Here's Mom's schedule for today, just so you have an idea of what her days look like:
8:30 Breakfast
9:15 OT
9:45 OT/PT
11:00 Psych
11:45 Speech Therapy
12:30 Lunch
1:45 PT
3:15 Recreational Therapy
5:30 Dinner

She has been busy in the evenings with visitors - lots of Geoff & Heather's friends have been stopping in to see her, plus Geoff, Heather and me. We'll be over there tonight carving pumpkins in her room after dinner. I don't think I'll trust her with a knife just yet!

That's all for now. Thanks for your support.

love,
jennifer

Quick Update

Hi. I just wanted to send a quick update before bed. Mom is getting clearer and clearer each day. As she says it, she's "getting her brain back." She's doing a lot of hard work each day, and it's really starting to show. She can now hold a cup with her left hand and she's even able to control her right wrist and fingers, which is great considering she has nerve damage in her right arm, which has caused her right wrist to "drop." She didn't sleep well last night, but, when I left tonight, she seemed much more at ease, so I hope tonight is better for her. Tomorrow, she starts therapy at 7:45 and is pretty much booked until mid afternoon. The activity is good for her physically and mentally and she really likes her therapists and her rehabilitation doctor.

Tonight, I washed her hair for her. Of course, after saying cheerfully, "here we go, Mom!", I proceeded to dump the soap in her eye. Thankfully, she was in a good mood, and just joked with me, saying "please, at least let me have my eyesight!" It all turned out well, and, hopefully by next week, she'll get a professional cut. Oh - she got a massage today, too. CPMC provides wellness therapies, so she can get regular massages and other wellness services, which is great.

Her medical "team", which consists of all her doctors, therapists, etc. will meet tomorrow to discuss a plan for mom's treatment. They meet weekly for each patient. So, we should have a little more info tomorrow after the meeting.

All in all, she's keeping her wits about her and is laughing a lot. I took her a stack of e-mails from friends and read them to her, so, feel free to keep sending e-mails to her at sherylwow3@aol.com and I'll be sure to share them with her right away.

love,
jennifer

Monday already

I stayed at the hospital with Mom last night. She slept really well, which was great to see. I feel like I'm learning, somewhat, what it must be like to have a child. As tired as I was last night, I just lay there, watching her to make sure she was okay, sometimes completely overwhelmed by what is really happening. I thought about the last time we shared a room... the night before the accident at Geoff's apartment. We slept in the same bed, and, every morning, she would wake up and ask me "did I snorkel?" (her cute term for snoring). Last night, I was relieved to hear her snorkeling, which normally drives me nuts, since I'm such a light sleeper. Each time she moved, I wanted to get up and help her, but I let her do what she could on her own. But it was hard to watch her - how much effort it takes her just to roll over. To see her right hand come across the bed, searching for something to grab to pull herself onto her side, although it still lacks the strength to make a tight grip. The simplest things - rolling over, brushing teeth, scratching her face - require so much effort or someone else to do it for her. As I celebrate her small victories and her progress, it is heart wrenching to see my mom - such a vibrant, feisty, active woman - in this shape.

Today, Heather and I are working on finding someone to come do Mom's hair. She's been asking for a cut ever since she got to rehab, and I know it will make her feel better to get a bit of pampering, too.

love,
jennifer

A real fighter...

Hello All,

I stayed at the hospital last night with mom, and things are moving in the right direction. She needed help throughout the night to stay comfortable, so I got no sleep and tended to her. She really doesn't like it too much, this whole incapacitation thing. At around 4 in the morning, I was standing over her, waiting for the nurse in the dark. She says "don't just keep standing there, you look pathetic!" I started laughing and said "It's pretty funny you telling me that I look pathetic. You can't even get out of bed!" We both laughed a good one from that.

Today mom met with her Occupational therapist who was great. She helped get mom into a wheelchair and took her into the hall. Mom was not able to tolerate sitting up, and her blood pressure dropped, but it was a good start. We got her back into bed and the OT showed me some range of motion exercises to do with mom's left arm.

When I got back to the hospital after dinner, the first thing mom said was "look at my arm. I have been working on it." She lifted it towards her face, better than she had been able. I almost cried as I told her what a great job she was doing. She'll be fine, but it's going to be a hard road, and just because she is strong enough to get better, does not mean that she should have ever had this happen to her.

Love,

Geoff

Busy Lady

Mom is settling in well to Rehab. Geoff stayed the night there last night, and I will tonight, just to help her get used to her new digs.

She is certainly a lot more busy than she was in the hospital, with 3 - 6 hours of therapy per day. Today, her OT and PT helped her to "transfer" from bed into a wheel chair. Right now, she can only bear weight on her left arm, so she can assist by pushing with that arm, although it's still a bit weak after not being used for so long. They use a wooden apparatus, which has wooden rollers on it, to slide her safely from one surface to the next. The plan was to take her outside, so they got her dressed in her own clothes for the outing. But, because she's been laying down for several days, her blood pressure dropped when they got her up into the chair. Apparently, this is quite common, and she should be fine to be sitting up for longer stretches after a couple more days getting acclimated again.

I spent a lot of time with mom today. She is MUCH more lucid. I'd say she's making sense about 90% of the time now. The nurses, who don't quite get her sense of humor yet, might say otherwise! She told her OT that she was "up with the chickens today", so mom had to explain what she meant, so the OT knew she hadn't completely lost it!

Considering all that mom has gone through, she is doing remarkably well emotionally. She is keeping her sense of humor and seems incredibly patient about the long-term timeline of all this. Don't get me wrong... she has her teary moments and talks about how she can't believe this has happened to her, but, all things considered, she is grateful to be alive, grateful for her friends and family, and is already making travel plans for when she's better. It's good to see her looking ahead.

She asked me to tell all of you thank you for your support and to ask for prayers as she continues to recover. She's worried about her bone graft surgery (in 2 - 3 weeks), so she requests prayers for that, too. I told her that she had actually gone through the worst surgeries already, but, of course, she doesn't remember that, so she's worrying about a much less complex procedure.

If you want to send mom a personal e-mail, send it to her at sherylwow3@aol.com. I'm checking her e-mail and will pass along your message. And, still feel free to send her cards! She loves them.

love & gratitude,
jennifer

New Room

Hi All. Mom changed rooms today, to room 357. Apparently, her first room, was far too noisy, due to its close proximity to the nursing station. The nurses are loud and don't seem to quiet down overnight, so Mom wasn't able to sleep well last night. Her new room is further down the hall, and her roommate (the rehab has only 2 private rooms) has very nice family who comes to visit her. So, Mom will have a bit more socialization in her new room.

Mom started PT and OT today. She has a pretty busy schedule now that she's at rehab with PT, OT and Speech Pathology each day. The Speech Pathologist will work with her not so much on her ability to speak, but on her words and cognitive skills. We see her coming back to herself more and more each day, but the SP will be able to help move that along even more. She'll also have a Recreational Therapist, who will work with her on things she likes to do. She's even bringing her dog to the rehab on Monday, since Mom told her she likes dogs!

While Mom is clearly in a place that will aggressively work to gain her some independence, we are all missing John Muir in Walnut Creek. CPMC certainly doesn't tend to Mom (or us!) like they did at John Muir, where she had been ever since the accident. Rehab doesn't seem to be quite as compassionate and kind. But, we all get to transition as she gets better and better.

Geoff is spending the night at the hospital with Mom tonight, to help her get acclimated. Tomorrow, she starts PT at 9:15 - right after breakfast - so we'll head in to see her later in the morning. When I was there this evening, she was much more relaxed and her room was much quieter. She has a beautiful view of San Francisco from her room, which she loves.

As she wakes up and the new staff ask her questions, it is clear that she knows what happened to her. She will tell the staff about the accident (in a nutshell), but she will not talk about it any further. Tonight, she did say to me "I just can't believe I'm like this," which just kills me because I can't believe it either. I'm glad she's starting to talk about it, or at least acknowledge it. She'll be seeing a Psychiatrist starting Monday, which will help even more.

I'm off to bed. It's been a busy day today. It is Heather's birthday, so we (Geoff, Heather, me and some of Heather's friends) went to the world's largest corn maze. We split into teams and OUR TEAM WON (thanks to Geoff's competitive nature... er, navigational skills!) at getting out the fastest. 40 acres of corn maze! Anyway, that sandwiched between hospital visits can wear a girl out.

More later.

love,
jennifer

New place to send wishes of all kinds

Just wanted to let everyone know Sheryl moved today and you can send cards, letters and flowers to:

Sheryl Barrett
California Pacific Regional Rehabilitation Center
Castro at Duboce Street
Davies Campus South Tower
Room 357
San Francisco, CA 94114

high and low

It's hard to imagine that there could be anymore days with the same intensity as the day of the accident but for me these last few have been. The fears of possibly losing Sheryl have been replaced with the intensity of daily advocating for Sheryl's care, and an overwhelming sense of helplessness around dealing with health care providers and health insurance systems. Such a timely thing to be experiencing with the presidential candidates saying they have a new and better plan for healthcare. Sheryl's situation is the perfect example of why our system is so broken. How can a person with a $1 million insurance policy be nearing its end after only 37 days!

The weight of this is coupled with some of the highest highs of the last 5 weeks.

The most important thing is she is progressing with leaps and bounds each day and will continue to get great care.

She has an amazing appetite and keeps giving high marks to the food at John Muir. She claims "it is truly the best in the nation".

From a healthcare standpoint, the doctors gave Sheryl the OK to move to a rehab nursing center TODAY. She will move to Cal Pacific Davies campus which is very close to where Geoff and I live. Here she will learn to regain mobility and become as self sufficient as one can with the injuries she has.

Also her orthopedic surgeon said he hopes to do the last surgery on her left femur within a few weeks. Such a relief because originally he said 4-6 months from the first surgery. This timing will allow all to hopefully get her weight bearing much faster. (although to manage expectations I think we are still talking 3 to 4 months)

Sheryl with each day gets physically stronger, psychological more aware and back to her smart, funny, unique Sheryl senses. Of course, with that comes the challenges of her realizing what happened, assessing where she is now and raising concerns of what is to come. As hard as this is for her (and us) it is such a great sign of recovery, and we know time, support from those around her and all those providing such great care will help her get through this.

We know EVERYONE is anxious to talk to her but she is not quite ready to start challenging the unlimited status of her "my circle" cell phone minutes yet. We will keep you posted.

April 2007, Big Sur/Monterey

Moving Along

After an eventful night watching Dancing With the Stars with me, Mom has made even more progress today.

This morning, Dr. McDannald removed the "button" over her trach, since she had been doing so well with her breathing and swallowing. As Mom is becoming more coherent, she is growing tired of these little procedures. They make her nervous and wear her out. She also had the feeding tube removed last night, which she HATED and has not yet forgotten. But, she's eating like a champ, and, in one day, has already been upgraded from "nectar thickness" to thin liquids and chunkier foods. She's been eating really well. She ate all of her breakfast this morning (cream of wheat, yogurt and juice) and then scarfed down a smoothie that I took her (all 16 oz!). Tonight, I'm taking her some pureed clam chowder and mashed sweet potatoes. She's been asking for fish, so she should like the clam chowder. I supplement her hospital food with better quality, more appetizing stuff, but, so far, she likes the hospital food, too.

She worked with a Physical Therapist again today, also. Tomorrow, we're going to get her into a wheelchair, so she can go outside. I hear there's a nice atrium at the hospital, so we'll go check it out. She should be moving to another hospital soon, since she's improving. We're still figuring out what type of facility that will be, so we'll keep you posted as it becomes more clear. We do know, for now, she'll remain in Northern CA, until she's better able to travel.

More later.

love,
jennifer

BIG Day

Wow. Today has been a big day already. We had no idea, we went in to visit Mom this morning, of all that would be happening.

First, she passed her second swallow test with a vanilla smoothie that she really enjoyed. After passing the swallow test, Dr. McDannald, her Pulmonologist, decided to remove the trach completely! So now, she has the trach out, with just a small "button" on the front of her neck, which they'll leave for another day or two as a sort of placeholder, should they need it again. She's talking whenever she wants now, since she no longer needs the passy/muir valve. I fed her some yogurt and orange juice and the nurse will be removing her feeding tube before we get back for our next visit.

She's still in and out of being confused, but, for the most part is tracking with us. Her friend/cousin (our family tree is a bit complicated), Laurie, came to visit her today. Mom recognized her and seemed glad to see her, although she commented to me about how "shitty" she looked to be having visitors. Her psychiatrist still wants to keep her stimulus to a minimum for now, until she becomes more and more alert.

We'll post more later! Thanks for all the cards. I'm taping them all over her room so she can see them.

love,
jennifer

Swallow Tests & Physical Therapy

Mom was more herself today than I've seen her so far - from answering questions appropriately (either mouthing them or speaking quietly when wearing the passy/muir valve) to sticking her tongue out at me when I couldn't read her lips.

I suggested that the nurse get her in the gurney chair 2 - 3 times today, since she's moving around so much when she's in the bed. It seemed to work to help her be more restful when she is in bed, and it also helps her lungs if she sits up more during the day. Her Respiratory Therapist came in while I was there this morning and put the passy/muir valve on. She wants her to wear it more regularly, as it helps increase activity in her lungs and throat. Mom and I talked for a while before Terri took the valve off, since Mom had asked to get back in bed and take a nap. I left and let Mom rest.

Heather and I went back a little while ago and found out that Mom had passed her first swallow test! To do the test, both the Respiratory Therapist and Speech Pathologist must be present. They fed her about 3 oz. of applesauce and she swallowed well. They put blue dye in the food, so, if it doesn't digest right, they can see the dye outside of her trach. Tomorrow, they will try her on liquids. They asked me to be there, since she was calmer today with me there.

A Physical Therapist also came by and worked with Mom on some movement with her legs and right arm. She'll come back again tomorrow. Mom seemed to enjoy the movement somewhat, especially with her right arm.

Heather and I will go back again tonight before visiting hours are over. Geoff went to Portland today to get his and Heather's car - replacing Heather's car, which was totalled in the accident. He'll be back late tonight.

More updates later.

love,
jennifer

One Month...

Today is the one month anniversary of the accident. Wow.

Geoff & I went to visit Mom tonight. She was much more alert and seemed more calm, mentally, although she is still extremely active physically. So much so that they have had a sitter in her room 24 hours/day all weekend. It's a bit hard to articulate, but the way Mom was moving tonight was different... less agitated and more of just "I'm ready to get out of bed" without the frustration and fear that was attached to it a few days ago. Her cheeks were especially rosy and she seemed to track with Geoff and me. She is certainly creating her own physical therapy with how much she is moving her arms and legs. What is interesting is the only limb she doesn't move with energy and freedom is her left arm, which was the only limb uninjured in the crash. They had the blood pressure cuff and IV in her left arm in ICU, so that might have something to do with it.

We're going to be sure to talk to her doctor tomorrow, to see what his plan is and to advocate for some physical therapy ASAP.

We'll send an update tomorrow.

love,
jennifer

A Not-So-Easy Transition

As great as it is to have Mom on a normal floor - which means that she is now healthy enough to be without all the monitors and close observation - the transition has not been an easy one.

Mom is very anxious, which the doctors attribute to her time in ICU (which, itself, is traumatic) and moving to an environment, which is not familiar to her. She's now in a different routine, with different nurses, etc. This has been extremely difficult for us, too, since we felt she was really on an upswing the last several days in ICU.

To help her deal with the transition (which is quite common for patients post-ICU), the nurses are keeping stimulus to a minimum for now. To that end, the social worker has suggested that Geoff, Heather and I take a couple days "off" from the hospital. I have spoken with Mom's nurses and they are well aware of the situation. They have Geoff's and my phone number and will call us should they feel that we need to be there or should Mom ask for us. We'll plan to go back to visit on Sunday.

That said, blogging might be slow this weekend, but we will update whenever we have news. We will be checking in frequently between now and Sunday.

love,
jennifer

Movin' on up

A quick post to give everyone an update on Sheryl's progress and life in her new digs. Geoff, Jennifer and I stopped by yesterday evening and last night. She was obviously happy to see us but not so interested in talking to us. I think the move has her a bit emotionally and physically worn. She seems a bit anxious again but hopefully that is just the true Sheryl spirit trying to come out.

Her room is small and the lucky lady has already received more flowers than can comfortably fit. If anymore are sent, honestly they will have to go into the hall. She has a long, long road ahead and will appreciate them more and more as the weeks pass. So please please please hold off on sending anymore. If you are thinking of sending flowers, I am happy to let you know when there is a bare space in the room. (e-mail me at heather@heathermiller.com). Thanks for your patience.

Online Raffle

Hi All. Laurel Thomas (daughter-in-law of Mom's sister, Linda) has set up an online raffle in order to raise money for Mom. Laurel has a company, called Thomas Handcrafted, and she hand makes high-quality bath products, such as soaps, bath salts, lip balms, body scrubs and soy candles. Raffle tickets are $2/each and you can purchase as many as you'd like. If your raffle ticket is drawn, you get to pick $45 worth of products from Thomas Handcrafted. It's an opportunity to contribute, with the possibility of getting something wonderful and pampering in return!

To check out the raffle, visit http://www.thomashandcrafted.com/RaffleforSheryl.html.

Big big thanks to Laurel for coming up with this great idea. Thank you, Laurel, for your care and generosity.

Mom's New Address

I just got back from spending the morning with Mom in her new digs. I must say I had overly high expectations. I must have been expecting the Four Seasons - a bright, plush room full of sunshine and happiness. Room 341, in reality, is just a hospital room - small room with a small window, which lacks a lovely view. I took Mom a pot of purple mums and some small pumpkins and hung all of her cards and some pictures on the wall, which spruced it up a bit. Mom has been more anxious today, which her nurse attributes to the new surroundings. She's still confused, but she seems to love the attention when the nurses, respiratory therapists, or doctors come in to check on her. Her face lights up and she smiles. She's probably used to having more attention like she did in ICU. For me, it's a bit strange to see her without all the monitors. Geoff, Heather and I had become accustomed to watching her respiratory rate, blood pressure, temperature, etc. In her new room, there are no monitors, no beeping, etc, which is nice, but also has me panic a bit, not knowing exactly what's going on at all times. I'm sure I'll adjust, just as she will.

Mom can now receive flowers, but the hospital does not allow balloons. Her room doesn't have much counter space, so if some people held off on sending flowers for a little while, that would probably be a good idea (and keep her with flowers longer!). She loves her cards, so keep them coming!

love,
jennifer

Mom's New Address:
John Muir Medical Center
1601 Ygnacio Valley Rd.
Walnut Creek, CA 94598
ATTN: Sheryl Barrett, Room 341

Movin' on Up

Mom's moving out of ICU tonight to a new room on a regular floor! I'll post her room number tomorrow. I am so excited that when I go visit her tomorrow, it won't be in Neuroscience ICU. Mom seems happy about the move, but she's still a bit drifty and confused so it's a little hard to tell what she's thinking.

Today was the first day I had heard mom's voice since the day of the accident. After arriving back from Indy, I headed straight to the hospital to see her. They had just taken the Passy/Muir valve off, but when I arrived, they put it back on so we could talk. As I said before, she's pretty confused, so sometimes she talks sense, other times not so much. I sat with her and we watched TV and looked at cards that friends have sent.

A lot has happened since I went home last week, so I'll just bullet point her progress to make things easier on all of us...

• Cervical collar has been removed.
• Passy/Muir valve is being used with trach, so that she can speak, albeit softly and not without a lot of effort on her part.
• Mom has been breathing completely on her own since Monday morning at a normal respiratory rate.
• Both leg wraps have been replaced with hard casts (these go from just below the knee over the foot w/ her toes exposed).
• Right arm cast has been removed. All that remains is a splint on her right thumb.
• Staples have been removed from the incisions from her femur surgeries.
• Medications have been reduced to only a high-blood pressure medication regularly. Pain meds are on an "as needed" basis. (She asked for some tonight when I was in her room, saying she had pain in her legs and arms.)
• She still has the feeding tube (down her nose), but they will feed her some applesauce tomorrow to see how she swallows. Today when they tested, her swallow was still a bit weak.

I think that about covers it. I'll update her address tomorrow, so you can continue to send cards.

Progress! Yippee!

love,

jennifer

Quick update for now...

Mom was ok tonight. A bit sleepy, but resting fairly comfortably. I will go by in the morning and should be able to talk to her. She may be moving off ICU tomorrow. I'll keep you all posted.

Love,

Geoff

Doctor's Update

It's funny that I can find out more about Mom's progress from Indy than some of the time when I'm standing in her room! Dr. de Boisblanc called this afternoon with an update. He said that mom was much more alert and awake this morning when he made rounds. She's still been a bit "in and out", but he isn't at all surprised, given the trauma she has suffered and the amount of sedation she received. She is breathing on her own today, and, if she breathes on her own all night, he will release her from ICU onto a regular floor tomorrow. I'm trying to contain my excitement, as I've learned not to try to predict, schedule or plan these days. Still, a bit of it is seeping through, thinking of her on a more "normal" floor where she can receive physical therapy, plus visitors and flowers!

Keep her in your thoughts, prayers, and hearts, please!

love,
jennifer

Mom's funny...

Tonight mom was fitted with a Passy/Muir valve which allowed her to talk. It was much more of a whisper, and barely audible, but we were able to communicate somewhat, which was great. She wanted water, which she can only have on a little foam swab. I soaked it with water and put it in her mouth. They also gave her some lemon swabs, which she really liked. She had gotten all the water she could have and I told her that was it. She stuck out her jaw and bit her upper lip, which is her signature sign of being unhappy about something. I completely cracked up! After a bit, we gave her a few more swabs. I asked her if she liked them, and she said "Well, Yeah!" Again, I about lost it. We still have a long, long way to go from here, but every little improvement is so nice. I stepped back and saw mom in the bed, with the trach, and on the passive motion machine, and I remembered that even with the improvements, she is badly injured and still has quite a road ahead.

Love to all,

Geoff

Good night....

Today was great. I went and raced my bike this morning before heading to the hospital. On the drive back, I heard a story on NPR that was quite profound. It was about a program called The Harlem Children's Zone. www.hcz.org I won't go into all the details, but part of the program really resonated with me.

Of the low income families that were subjects of a study they conducted, children of working professionals heard over 2 million more words by the time they were 2 yrs old than children of non-working couples. Along with this was a breakdown of encouraging vs discouraging statements. The children of working professionals hear a dramatically higher percentage of encouraging statements than kids of non-working parents. The point of this is that the children who heard these extra words of encouragement - or maybe just less discouragement! - were much better students, and had a better chance of breaking free of the cycle of poverty that has trapped so many families.

After hearing this I started thinking about how much encouragement and support we have gotten from all of you around our current situation. It is huge that we can go into mom's room with genuine words of encouragement, untainted by "can we pay the rent," or "what will mom do when she gets home?" We can be there for her in a way that will help her get better, knowing that she has so many shoulders to stand on.

A big lesson for me today was taking a look at how I am with the people in my life. Am I encouraging or discouraging? I'm both, but have a tendency to be critical and judgmental as my first reaction. I hope to remember that those around me, particularly mom right now, already know how hard life can be. We don't need discouraging reminders of that! I hope to be an encouraging reminder to mom, and everyone around me, of the good in them and in our lives. It's too easy to lose sight of the good, especially in the face of extreme hardship.

We went and saw mom tonight, and she was resting comfortably. She has been breathing on her own all day today, and will continue to do so as long as her vitals look good. She has been cracking some smiles, although she seems a little more tired today than yesterday. The doctors continue to wean her from the pain and anti-anxiety medicines. She is only on a blood-pressure med that has some anti-anxiety properties. No pain meds, no IV meds. I'm happy to see her coming around. I showed her videos of Thatcher and the birds that Fred so kindly sent, and we told her that all her friends are thinking of her and are checking in. Jen, Heather and I will keep you all posted.

Thanks again for everything.

Back Home in Indy

It's nice to be home. Kuba and I are celebrating our 2 year anniversary a few days early, given the current situation in California. Last night, our friends had a party for us, which was great. My friends are incredibly supportive, and it re-energized me to be with them. All of them are caring, loving and fun, and I so appreciate them for creating an evening for us, where we could "escape" a bit.

During the party, I received a message from Geoff that mom was doing much better. When we spoke later, he put me on speaker phone, so that I could talk to mom. Yippee. I got a message from Heather this afternoon that mom has been breathing on her own again today (trach still in, but ventilator off). The next step is to cover the trach opening, so that she can talk. I can't wait!

Seeing her Tuesday when I get back to California will be such a different experience. I'm already overwhelmed (in a good way) to think of her talking back to me. How I've missed her voice and her laughter the past 3 weeks.

Until then, I'll dig up all the summer plants to get the yard ready for fall, spend plenty of time with Kuba and Star, our cat, and add more good music to my iPod to have ready for mom when I get back. Maybe she'll be ready to sing along.

love,
jennifer

smilestone

Today is three weeks from the crash. Originally, we were told the best case scenario Sheryl would be out of the hospital in three weeks and here we are still in ICU. In every way, I let go of my preconceived idea of things moving forward with in a certain timeframe. We've been told her surgery might happen on this day or that one, and it did or it didn't. It felt like Sheryl was snowed under for 4-5 days, when we thought she would be coming out sedation. Each day, I've checked off the milestone or had to move the check box to an undetermined spot further down the road. Originally, I had in my head that days, weeks or hours would define Sheryl's progress.

What defined Sheryl's progress today came in the simplest, most mighty form—a smile. yes a smile. Geoff and I went in tonight and she smiled when she looked at us. Then we told her a joke (albeit a stupid one) and she smiled again. We told her the story of our day and put Jennifer on the speaker phone and her expression indicated she obviously followed what were saying. We told her we love her and she mouthed back I love you. The difference a day makes, in this case even a few hours.

Dr D came in this afternoon and took off her cervical collar. (Somehow this seems less significant now, 2 days ago it would have been one of the biggest things for the week.) She has been in the chair again today, and breathing on her own for a while throughout the day. They also raised the head of her bed so she is more upright and able to see out more. All progress. and we are all smiles.

Please send us jokes to share with Sheryl. Our repertoire is pretty thin.

Heather

Coming Around...

Hello Everyone,

After working for a bit in the city today, I came back to Walnut Creek and went straight to the hospital. Mom was sleeping very comfortably so I just sat in the chair for a while. It still hits me pretty hard to see her, and to think about what was "supposed" to be going on right now. After about an hour there, I came back to the cottage and made some dinner for Heather and me. We went back at 8 and Mom was sleeping, but was pretty fitful. The nurse thinks that she will be lucid enough to get the collar off tomorrow, but I have learned not to count on things like that. If it happens, it happens. She does seem to be coming out of the fog, which is fantastic. I can't wait to be able to talk to each other. I'll miss Jen while she's gone, but she certainly needs some time to decompress. Thanks again for all the support.

Love,

Geoff

Uppity Duppity Little Chicken

That's what Mom always said to Geoff and me upon waking in the mornings. Today, Mom seems to be waking. Her doctor has decreased her anti-anxiety medication and her pain meds, so that she can wake up and ace her breathing tests. Apparently, when you're under a blanket of narcotics, it's hard to follow commands. Go figure. Anyway, today she seems much more alert. Ironically, she seems to be much more calm, also. I think she's waking up enough where she can better handle what's going on, and she is much receptive to calming words. This morning, when Geoff and I went to see her, her eyes were clear and I saw HER. I asked her if she wanted to watch TV, and she nodded her head. When I told her I was holding her hand, she squeezed. She's still a little "in and out" of the fog, but she is becoming more alert.

The put her in the gurney chair again today. (Yesterday, she stayed in it for more than an hour.) Heather and I are heading back to the hospital soon. Geoff headed into SF for the day to get some work done and I am heading back to Indy this afternoon for the weekend. I very much need my home, my husband, my cat for a little "mental health" break. And, at the same time, I don't like leaving mom. All the nurses tell us to take care of ourselves... that the hard part is still to come, so I'll go home, make sure the house is still standing (I haven't been home in over a month now) and recharge my batteries.

love,
jennifer

Where to send cards to Mom?

I've had a lot of e-mails from friends and family wanting to send cards to Mom. I've included the address below. Since she is still in ICU, we'll all have to hold off on flowers for now, but we'll let you know when she's on a regular floor and can receive more than cards.

Thank you!

John Muir Medical Center
1601 Ygnacio Valley Rd.
Walnut Creek, CA 94598
ATTN: NSICU, Sheryl Barrett

A More Restful Wednesday

Hi All. Geoff and I spent a couple of hours in mom's room this morning. We decided to camp out there, so that we could calm her if she became agitated. We had only a couple of opportunities to do that, as she seemed much more relaxed today. Geoff, Heather and I made a playlist with some of mom's favorite more mellow music, so there is now music in her room. I did a little research, and music has been very effective in helping patients, who are intubated, to heal more quickly. It has also been shown to reduce anxiety in patients. It's anyone's guess if it's the music, the anti-anxiety medication, the sedation wearing off more and more each day or having her kids in the room that's relaxing her. What's important, is that she is more calm - her breathing is slower and she's only on the vent at a very low level, just to back her up if she needs it.

This afternoon, they will put her up in a gurney chair. Her doctor wants her to be sitting up ASAP, since she's been laying down for 2 1/2 weeks now. This not only helps her muscles and skin, but allows her lungs to function more properly and provides variety for mom. They did this yesterday, thinking she might only tolerate it for a few minutes, but she sat there for 45 minutes. After that, she was tired and rested well for the rest of the afternoon. Today, they will sit her up again. They'll also take the ventilator tube off of her trach entryway, in order to see how she's breathing completely on her own (no ventilator for back up). Now that she has the trach, they can try things like this, since they can pop the tube off and onto the trach easily. It's much more easy to regulate the vent on the trach than it was when she had the breathing tube down her throat.

We'll be heading back to the hospital to be with her while she's in the gurney chair, so we'll post again later today.

love,
jennifer

Kicking and squirming....

Hello All,

Oh, for better days...

Mom is having a tough time. She is extremely anxious and restless, but without the facilities to express herself. She almost knocked the passive motion machine off the bed by squirming, and her nurse said that she has an incredibly high tolerance for the anti-anxiety medicine, so that doesn't help anything. I spent time tonight by her bed, assuring her that she was OK when she would wake, and being quiet when she was asleep. She would be calm for about two minutes, and then she would wake and start arching her back and moving around, which causes her heartrate to elevate and her breathing rate to increase. I think it is important for her to have reassurance that she will be OK, so I will not be going to the shop tomorrow. She seems to be at a critical point, coming off the sedation, but not coherent. The goal is to get her off sedation, off the vent and off the ICU. It looks like things will get worse before they get better.

Love,

Geoff

Quick update for now...

Hi Everyone. Mom had a tracheotomy today, which went well and without complication. She is now completely off the sedation. Geoff, Heather and I went in to see her shortly after the procedure and she was asleep. Although we were hoping she could come completely off the vent all at once, it sure is nice to see her restful and comfortable and to see her face without all the tubes down her throat - the white tape holding them in place across her face. There are no visiting hours from 3 - 4, so we took a break from the hospital but will head back there in the next few minutes. We'll post a more thorough update this evening.

Thanks, again and again, for your support.

love,
jennifer

Sunday Update

It's a lot like the movie Groundhog Day around here. Mom is still too anxious to do well on the breathing tests. However, she is breathing on her own and doing well at that... they just have to make sure she can sustain it before removing the tube. Today, it seems like the weekend pulmonologist, in tandem with Mom's day nurse, RJ, made some good decisions. They will put her on a low dose of anti-anxiety medication 24 hours/day, so that she is more regulated. As it's been, they give her the anti-anxiety when she needs it, then it knocks her out, which works against her for the breathing tests. So, they're working hard to get her anxiety under control, since that seems to be the major obstacle for her at this point.

It was an especially heavy day in Neuro ICU today. (She's in Neuro ICU, just b/c they had a nicer room available there.) A 29 year-old local police officer was in an auto accident yesterday and has been declared brain-dead. They're keeping him on life-support to see if organ donation is an option. Other stories of tragedy unfold daily. Neuro ICU is just a heavy place to hang out... no one in there is necessarily doing well, and guests often pass by completely in tears. I'll be so glad for Mom to get out of there. It really feels like she's in the wrong place.

We'll know more about what's next tomorrow, since Mom's doctors will all be back after the weekend.

love,
jennifer

Saturday Again

Well, Mom is still on the vent. They took her off sedation this morning, and, again, she got anxious and her breathing was too rapid to "pass the test." Geoff and I were both extremely disheartened to get to the hospital this morning to find her sedated again, when we had been expecting extubation. They'll try again tomorrow morning, and Geoff and I have requested that they do not take her off sedation until visiting hours, so that we can be there when she wakes up. We hope that it will relax her a bit to see familiar faces when she wakes up, and, that with our help and reassurance, she will remain calm for enough time to satisfy the doctors, so they can proceed with extubation. If our Jedi mind trick doesn't work, they will most like do a tracheotomy tomorrow, which will keep her on the vent, but allow them to decrease the sedation (since she won't have a tube down her throat) and get her moving more, which will be good for her lungs and muscles. Also, with the trach, it is easier to regulate the frequency of breaths given to her by the ventilator. They can take the trach out as soon as she is doing well breathing on her own, which could be a short amount of time, given that mom's lungs are in pretty good shape. After seeing her sedated again today, I just want her to be comfortable - to have the tube out of her mouth however she can. She's far too anxious when she isn't sedated, since, as I've been told, breathing through a ventilator is like breathing through a straw. Not fun for anyone.

Today was not an easy day. Geoff and I try to be 50% advocate/50% asshole when dealing with the nurses and doctors, and today we were certainly the latter. When we walked in and saw her sedated again, we lost it. It made no sense, since we had been told yesterday that she had done well on her breathing tests. And, we found out that when they took her off sedation this morning, they did not give her anti-anxiety medication, which we have told every one of her nurses is very important for her. That was just the start of the day.

Please send lots of positive energy, prayers and love to mom tomorrow morning. Around 9Am PST, we'll be working with her to relax, so they can take that damn tube out once and for all. Please try to take a moment and envision her relaxed and calm, so we can all contribute to the next step in her recovery. (If you're not into all this woo woo stuff, just do whatever works for you!)

Thanks to all for your support. Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

love,
jennifer

Friday, 10/3

Mom remains on the vent today. They took her completely off sedation (same story, different day) to check her lungs and her stamina as it relates to her breathing. They monitored her today... watching the depth of her breaths, frequency, and her ability to not "tucker out." I spent quite a bit of time in her room today, just sitting with her, hoping it would help her relax. I'm never sure if it helps or makes her more agitated, having any of us there and not being able to talk to us. Her nurse said she's doing well with her breathing today, but that she's "right on the fence", so she expects her to be extubated tomorrow. I guess each day she's doing better with the testing, but she's got a tiny bit more to go before getting the tube out. So, tomorrow, we'll do all this again.

I went to the doctor yesterday for a follow up and seem to be healing, although I'm still not 100%. He told me that my bruises are in the exact same places as Mom's, and that the only reason I didn't have the injuries she had was because my bones are stronger. I had been thinking that she had more impact because of the steering wheel, pedals, etc., but he said Mom's only break from any of those things was her thumb, which broke b/c of the steering wheel. Now that I look at my bruises, I see where the dashboard hit me just at the knees, exactly where Mom's were hit, which caused her femurs to fracture. Whew... just more info to process.

More updates to come, as always.

love,
jennifer

Out of Surgery.....

Hey Everybody,

Mom made it through surgery tonight, so that's all the surgery for now. Dr Coufal fixed her right ankle and left foot. She remains on the vent tube as her lungs are not yet strong enough to breathe on her own. Her doctor will try again tomorrow to wean her from the vent, so Jen, Heather and I will go in to help her focus on her breathing and get past this. I know the vent, neck collar and lack of communication are so hard for her. It's hard for us as well, and we will be grateful for the chance to talk to her soon. A pleasant side note is that Heather, Jennifer and I have been having fun together. I'm glad we get along!

Love,

Geoff

Big Day

Geoff and I went to see Mom this morning. Her doctor wants to get her off the vent prior to surgery, so she is off all sedation at this point. He thinks it's better to take her off and just use a temporary breathing tube for the surgery, so, when she's out of surgery, she's off the vent. They are doing some breathing tests on her this morning to make sure she is taking deep enough breaths. I told her she was being tested and Geoff and I worked with her on taking slow, deep breaths. She seemed to be doing a good job at this, as much as she can stay relaxed.

As most of you know, my mom has a ton of energy, and when we got to her room this morning, she had squirmed so much that one of her legs was off the bed. The nurses quickly repositioned her. I told her that she wasn't quite ready for dancing yet.

Mom's surgery has been rescheduled to 4:30PM today, which can always change depending on cancellations or additions to her surgeon's schedule.

We'll keep you posted after surgery.

Rounding a corner

Today was met with some progress for Mom. It started when I called the hospital this morning and asked her nurse, Chris, how Mom was doing. It was the first time I had heard "good" as a response to that question. She said they had stopped Mom's sedation in order to wean her off the vent. Geoff went into SF to do some work and Heather and I headed to the hospital. Mom was very alert and her eyes were clearer than I had seen them since the accident. It was great to be with her free from the sedation, but, at the same time, it was difficult, as she seemed to get more agitated not being able to talk to us and not having the sedation to relax her. They have been giving her some anti-anxiety medication to take the edge off, since taking off the sedation.

Dr. Coufal, mom's orthopedic surgeon, has scheduled her next two surgeries for tomorrow. She goes in at 2:30 to have her right ankle and left foot fixed. After that, the remaining surgery will be a bone graft in no less than 3 months. Once they complete tomorrow's surgeries, they should be able to take her off the vent relatively quickly. Today, they had her doing most of her own breathing in order to strengthen and check her lungs, and all seemed to be going well. They gave her a transfusion this evening when we were there, and will put her back on the vent and sedation tonight, in order to get her rested and ready for surgery tomorrow.

Looking ahead, once the remove the vent, they will do a "swallow test", which, if passed, will lead to removal of the feeding tube. Once she gets the tubes out of her mouth and can verbally tell the doctors that her neck doesn't hurt, they can take off the neck brace she's been wearing since the accident. Getting the tubes out and the neck brace off will be huge for her, allowing her to move more freely and to communicate.

We will be there to see her tomorrow pre-surgery, then head to my doctor's appointment at 3:30 to check my injuries. We will post an update to the blog as soon as we get the results after her surgery.

Keep the prayers and healing energy coming. Tomorrow will be a big day.

Sheryl wow in action

Analyzing Illusions...

I have had some crushing experiences in my life. Most of you know about them, and if you don't, buy me a coke sometime. Tonight was a breakdown for me. I have spent the last several days keeping tabs, organizing and analyzing, calculating and tracking progress. Is mom's fever up or down? How's the respiratory rate? Heart rate? How was the morning X-ray? What calls need to be made?

Tonight, looking at mom squirming in her bed with a breathing tube, lines of staples across her knees, 3 pumps, countless tubes, the little bit of tape adhesive by her lip, her leg moving slowly up and down on the machine - I just lost it. I all of a sudden saw the last picture I took of my mom in my mind.

It was taken at a gas station in SF as we were leaving town. I had gone to get us sandwiches and had bought mom a Kombucha drink. She was drinking it in the car at the station when I walked over with my camera to snap a shot. The bikes were on top of the car, it had party supplies inside, and mom was looking the part of California recreation. "Hey mom, looks like you are headed out for a fun weekend. Going to do a little biking?" She didn't say anything, but she held up her drink - I think she sees the Kombucha as a bit special, since she only has it here - and smiled a smile that told me she wouldn't be anywhere else. She has this whimsical way about her that is so endearing - you might have noticed!

I took the pic, with Jen leaning in from the passenger seat. I saw it in my mind tonight and I realized that I had forgotten who mom is. I have been spending so much energy keeping track that I forgot that my mom has been devastated. All the small bits of progress - her stable condition, the past surgeries, etc... - didn't matter a damn when I held that picture up against my mom lying in a hospital bed struggling and scared, the next two years of her life spent recovering from this senseless and tragic crime.

Remembering my mom as the person she is cracked through the walls of intellectualization and I broke. I love my mom dearly, and will continue to work for her recovery, but I have to remember who she is and what has happened to her. I had been hanging onto any small progress, however illusory, so much that I lost sight of the real picture. I had been looking so far into the future that I had shut myself off from the present.

This is going to be a long process. There is no way that I can adequately express the gratitude that I feel for the support that has been given us. It is huge to know that we have so many incredible people who care about mom, and about the rest of us. I hope I never have the chance to repay in a like fashion, but know you have my undying gratitude.

As for a "real" update, mom is about the same. She was agitated and restless tonight, and I had the nurse give her some Ativan for anxiety. They are looking at weaning her off the vent, but the surgery on her foot and ankle might happen this week, so it's hard to tell how things will happen. We have a list of things to handle tomorrow around her insurance, the police report, doctor's follow-ups and some guitar repair. I almost forgot that I own a business...

Love,

Geoff

Day 12... really?

Wow. Day 12 already. Very hard to believe.

Today wasn't marked by much movement. Mom remains stable on the ventilator. The swelling in her legs is continuing to go down. I put a call in to her orthopedic surgeon today to see if they might be able to go ahead with the remaining surgeries (right ankle, left foot) soon, since the swelling is going down. The original plan was to complete all surgeries and remove the vent post-surgery once and for all, so I'm wondering if they can go back to that plan, since she's not quite ready to have the vent removed, due to some remaining congestion in her lungs.

When Geoff and I visited mom this morning, she was awake and alert. We have learned that it's best for us to be mellow and to just stand next to her bed, holding her hand or stroking her forehead. We've been missing talking to her so much that we run in there telling her all the day's news when she's awake, which can tend to agitate her (I'm assuming b/c she can't yak it up with us). It's been working out a lot better to just whisper to her that she's doing great and that we love her and to allow her to remain calm. Anyway, this morning, she was moving her legs from side to side on her own, which we hadn't seen her do before. She was just rocking them back and forth, as if she had just realized that she can control them. It was nice to see some self-generated movement from her.

We went back to see her this afternoon and she was sleeping. We'll go back again before visiting hours are over today.

I want to extend a huge thank you to everyone for all of the support. The e-mails, phone calls, posts to the blog, monetary donations, etc. are all so appreciated and encourage us to keep moving forward.

We're learning a lot of stuff that we never cared to know about, but we want to be sure we are educated about all that is happening with Mom. There are so many facets to this ordeal - from health care, to insurance, to felony convictions and preliminary hearings. It's a lot to deal with.

Anyway, thanks again for all of the support. We are so fortunate to be loved and cared for by such amazing family and friends.

It's Geoff's turn to do the next update, so watch for it tonight or tomorrow.