Today was great. I went and raced my bike this morning before heading to the hospital. On the drive back, I heard a story on NPR that was quite profound. It was about a program called The Harlem Children's Zone. www.hcz.org I won't go into all the details, but part of the program really resonated with me.
Of the low income families that were subjects of a study they conducted, children of working professionals heard over 2 million more words by the time they were 2 yrs old than children of non-working couples. Along with this was a breakdown of encouraging vs discouraging statements. The children of working professionals hear a dramatically higher percentage of encouraging statements than kids of non-working parents. The point of this is that the children who heard these extra words of encouragement - or maybe just less discouragement! - were much better students, and had a better chance of breaking free of the cycle of poverty that has trapped so many families.
After hearing this I started thinking about how much encouragement and support we have gotten from all of you around our current situation. It is huge that we can go into mom's room with genuine words of encouragement, untainted by "can we pay the rent," or "what will mom do when she gets home?" We can be there for her in a way that will help her get better, knowing that she has so many shoulders to stand on.
A big lesson for me today was taking a look at how I am with the people in my life. Am I encouraging or discouraging? I'm both, but have a tendency to be critical and judgmental as my first reaction. I hope to remember that those around me, particularly mom right now, already know how hard life can be. We don't need discouraging reminders of that! I hope to be an encouraging reminder to mom, and everyone around me, of the good in them and in our lives. It's too easy to lose sight of the good, especially in the face of extreme hardship.
We went and saw mom tonight, and she was resting comfortably. She has been breathing on her own all day today, and will continue to do so as long as her vitals look good. She has been cracking some smiles, although she seems a little more tired today than yesterday. The doctors continue to wean her from the pain and anti-anxiety medicines. She is only on a blood-pressure med that has some anti-anxiety properties. No pain meds, no IV meds. I'm happy to see her coming around. I showed her videos of Thatcher and the birds that Fred so kindly sent, and we told her that all her friends are thinking of her and are checking in. Jen, Heather and I will keep you all posted.
Thanks again for everything.
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5 comments:
So wonderful to hear that things are heading in the right direction now. It's been long coming especially for you, her children watching in slow motion it must seem at times.
Once again tell her we in OKC, her highschool friends continue to pray and talk about her progress amongst ourselves often.
Tell her I love her and can't wait to give her a hug.
Jimmie Clark
Geoff,
It is so good to hear that your Mom is breathing on her own again. Your words today will give me cause to reflect on my own outlook of life. I think of all of you each day and say a prayer for you to maintain your strenght and of course a prayer for your Mom's recovery. Tell her Dave and I will head north for a visit as soon as she returns to OKC.
Love to all,
Judy
Dear Geoff and Jennifer, I've been following your blog closely since I found out about the accident from Judy Weaver. I have been praying for her healing and safe recovery for about one hour a day (a special Sufi prayer which is the Path I'm following now.) I would love to talk to Sheryl on speaker phone some time. How did you arrange it with Jennifer? I am a full time grad student now in a spiritual healing school. I'll be going to California for school and retreat at our Center in Pope Valley. I had hoped to come to visit you after school, but our friend Susan Rhodes Blake is coming out to volunteer in the last few days of the political campaign. My schedule is pretty flexible, and I could come there or to Oklahoma for a week or so if you guys want a break or I can help her get settled in at home. Also I can do healings with all of you, which might help manage the enormous stress you all are experience. I think I will shift from the prayer for healing in general to the prayer specifically recommended to quell anxiety and help the person feel safe and supported by the Divine (God, Allah, the Force--it doesn't much matter what you call it.) I'l start the peace prayer tonight before I go to bed, so please tell me if you notice any change in her demeanor. There are lots of other prayers, too, for things like strength, support, wisdom, holiness, trust--jut about anything you can think of, so please feel free to request anything specific for yourselves or Sharyl. I'll keepdoing the prayer for peace for now and let you know if I shift to something else or you think of something she would like. I'm so glad I got to know you guys at your Mom's house and my brother John and Sister Jiff did, too. So glad we didn't miss our chance to connect since we didn't get to be together when we were kids. Love you all, Jeanne Zuliekha (Sufi name) Grimm
Please email me at jgrimm5988@aol.com or call 612-822-9409. Please tell your Mom I'm on the case and to try to feel some more love energy coming her way every night at bed time.
Jeanne
Geoff,
It's so great to hear the progress Sheryl is making. I read your input this evening on the Harlem Children's Zone. It's so interesting how truthful the facts you quoted are to be. The book "Whatever It Takes" by Paul Tough follows suit relating to the structure of words Encouragement and Discouragement. How these words affect us in our daily lives.
Prayers are with all of you - I am in OKC a few times per month with Mom and my business clients in Edmond - My contact information is kdventures@yahoo.com - 214-415-2395. My family sends prayers from Oklahoma, Arkansas, Colorado, Arizona and California.
Blessings to All - Kathy
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