Happy Halloween

Hi Everyone. Sorry it's been a few days since we posted an update. Now that Mom is more herself, we spend more time at the hospital than we do blogging!

She is showing signs of improvement everyday. It really is amazing how much mobility she has gained in the week she's been in rehab. As her OT described it, Mom is going from a state of complete dependence to becoming independent, and, at times, that transition is rough, as Mom discovers what she can and can't do. She has to overcome a lot of fears as she starts to move things around again, but she is doing really well. This morning, I took her breakfast (she is now completely sick of hospital food!) and she asked for me just to sit it down and let her feed herself. It's not always easy or tidy for her, but she's been really good about testing her limits vs. just letting us do everything for her.

Each day, I print the personal e-mails sent to her and read them to her. She enjoys them. Know that she hears them and enjoys them, even though she isn't able to respond to you right now! She had her first phone call yesterday, with her long-time friend, Linda. She's still not quite up to talking a lot, but I don't think it will be long. She still can't pick up a phone and put it to her ear, so phone calls require quite a bit of coordination. I know many of you are missing her voice, so I will be sure to let you know when she's ready to talk.

I'm awaiting a call back from Dr. Coufal, Mom's orthopedic surgeon, to find out when her bone graft will be, and to ask some questions about her weight bearing status in her right arm and leg, which will affect her PT and OT. We should have a much better idea about her treatment plan once he calls me back.

Here's Mom's schedule for today, just so you have an idea of what her days look like:
8:30 Breakfast
9:15 OT
9:45 OT/PT
11:00 Psych
11:45 Speech Therapy
12:30 Lunch
1:45 PT
3:15 Recreational Therapy
5:30 Dinner

She has been busy in the evenings with visitors - lots of Geoff & Heather's friends have been stopping in to see her, plus Geoff, Heather and me. We'll be over there tonight carving pumpkins in her room after dinner. I don't think I'll trust her with a knife just yet!

That's all for now. Thanks for your support.

love,
jennifer

Quick Update

Hi. I just wanted to send a quick update before bed. Mom is getting clearer and clearer each day. As she says it, she's "getting her brain back." She's doing a lot of hard work each day, and it's really starting to show. She can now hold a cup with her left hand and she's even able to control her right wrist and fingers, which is great considering she has nerve damage in her right arm, which has caused her right wrist to "drop." She didn't sleep well last night, but, when I left tonight, she seemed much more at ease, so I hope tonight is better for her. Tomorrow, she starts therapy at 7:45 and is pretty much booked until mid afternoon. The activity is good for her physically and mentally and she really likes her therapists and her rehabilitation doctor.

Tonight, I washed her hair for her. Of course, after saying cheerfully, "here we go, Mom!", I proceeded to dump the soap in her eye. Thankfully, she was in a good mood, and just joked with me, saying "please, at least let me have my eyesight!" It all turned out well, and, hopefully by next week, she'll get a professional cut. Oh - she got a massage today, too. CPMC provides wellness therapies, so she can get regular massages and other wellness services, which is great.

Her medical "team", which consists of all her doctors, therapists, etc. will meet tomorrow to discuss a plan for mom's treatment. They meet weekly for each patient. So, we should have a little more info tomorrow after the meeting.

All in all, she's keeping her wits about her and is laughing a lot. I took her a stack of e-mails from friends and read them to her, so, feel free to keep sending e-mails to her at sherylwow3@aol.com and I'll be sure to share them with her right away.

love,
jennifer

Monday already

I stayed at the hospital with Mom last night. She slept really well, which was great to see. I feel like I'm learning, somewhat, what it must be like to have a child. As tired as I was last night, I just lay there, watching her to make sure she was okay, sometimes completely overwhelmed by what is really happening. I thought about the last time we shared a room... the night before the accident at Geoff's apartment. We slept in the same bed, and, every morning, she would wake up and ask me "did I snorkel?" (her cute term for snoring). Last night, I was relieved to hear her snorkeling, which normally drives me nuts, since I'm such a light sleeper. Each time she moved, I wanted to get up and help her, but I let her do what she could on her own. But it was hard to watch her - how much effort it takes her just to roll over. To see her right hand come across the bed, searching for something to grab to pull herself onto her side, although it still lacks the strength to make a tight grip. The simplest things - rolling over, brushing teeth, scratching her face - require so much effort or someone else to do it for her. As I celebrate her small victories and her progress, it is heart wrenching to see my mom - such a vibrant, feisty, active woman - in this shape.

Today, Heather and I are working on finding someone to come do Mom's hair. She's been asking for a cut ever since she got to rehab, and I know it will make her feel better to get a bit of pampering, too.

love,
jennifer

A real fighter...

Hello All,

I stayed at the hospital last night with mom, and things are moving in the right direction. She needed help throughout the night to stay comfortable, so I got no sleep and tended to her. She really doesn't like it too much, this whole incapacitation thing. At around 4 in the morning, I was standing over her, waiting for the nurse in the dark. She says "don't just keep standing there, you look pathetic!" I started laughing and said "It's pretty funny you telling me that I look pathetic. You can't even get out of bed!" We both laughed a good one from that.

Today mom met with her Occupational therapist who was great. She helped get mom into a wheelchair and took her into the hall. Mom was not able to tolerate sitting up, and her blood pressure dropped, but it was a good start. We got her back into bed and the OT showed me some range of motion exercises to do with mom's left arm.

When I got back to the hospital after dinner, the first thing mom said was "look at my arm. I have been working on it." She lifted it towards her face, better than she had been able. I almost cried as I told her what a great job she was doing. She'll be fine, but it's going to be a hard road, and just because she is strong enough to get better, does not mean that she should have ever had this happen to her.

Love,

Geoff

Busy Lady

Mom is settling in well to Rehab. Geoff stayed the night there last night, and I will tonight, just to help her get used to her new digs.

She is certainly a lot more busy than she was in the hospital, with 3 - 6 hours of therapy per day. Today, her OT and PT helped her to "transfer" from bed into a wheel chair. Right now, she can only bear weight on her left arm, so she can assist by pushing with that arm, although it's still a bit weak after not being used for so long. They use a wooden apparatus, which has wooden rollers on it, to slide her safely from one surface to the next. The plan was to take her outside, so they got her dressed in her own clothes for the outing. But, because she's been laying down for several days, her blood pressure dropped when they got her up into the chair. Apparently, this is quite common, and she should be fine to be sitting up for longer stretches after a couple more days getting acclimated again.

I spent a lot of time with mom today. She is MUCH more lucid. I'd say she's making sense about 90% of the time now. The nurses, who don't quite get her sense of humor yet, might say otherwise! She told her OT that she was "up with the chickens today", so mom had to explain what she meant, so the OT knew she hadn't completely lost it!

Considering all that mom has gone through, she is doing remarkably well emotionally. She is keeping her sense of humor and seems incredibly patient about the long-term timeline of all this. Don't get me wrong... she has her teary moments and talks about how she can't believe this has happened to her, but, all things considered, she is grateful to be alive, grateful for her friends and family, and is already making travel plans for when she's better. It's good to see her looking ahead.

She asked me to tell all of you thank you for your support and to ask for prayers as she continues to recover. She's worried about her bone graft surgery (in 2 - 3 weeks), so she requests prayers for that, too. I told her that she had actually gone through the worst surgeries already, but, of course, she doesn't remember that, so she's worrying about a much less complex procedure.

If you want to send mom a personal e-mail, send it to her at sherylwow3@aol.com. I'm checking her e-mail and will pass along your message. And, still feel free to send her cards! She loves them.

love & gratitude,
jennifer

New Room

Hi All. Mom changed rooms today, to room 357. Apparently, her first room, was far too noisy, due to its close proximity to the nursing station. The nurses are loud and don't seem to quiet down overnight, so Mom wasn't able to sleep well last night. Her new room is further down the hall, and her roommate (the rehab has only 2 private rooms) has very nice family who comes to visit her. So, Mom will have a bit more socialization in her new room.

Mom started PT and OT today. She has a pretty busy schedule now that she's at rehab with PT, OT and Speech Pathology each day. The Speech Pathologist will work with her not so much on her ability to speak, but on her words and cognitive skills. We see her coming back to herself more and more each day, but the SP will be able to help move that along even more. She'll also have a Recreational Therapist, who will work with her on things she likes to do. She's even bringing her dog to the rehab on Monday, since Mom told her she likes dogs!

While Mom is clearly in a place that will aggressively work to gain her some independence, we are all missing John Muir in Walnut Creek. CPMC certainly doesn't tend to Mom (or us!) like they did at John Muir, where she had been ever since the accident. Rehab doesn't seem to be quite as compassionate and kind. But, we all get to transition as she gets better and better.

Geoff is spending the night at the hospital with Mom tonight, to help her get acclimated. Tomorrow, she starts PT at 9:15 - right after breakfast - so we'll head in to see her later in the morning. When I was there this evening, she was much more relaxed and her room was much quieter. She has a beautiful view of San Francisco from her room, which she loves.

As she wakes up and the new staff ask her questions, it is clear that she knows what happened to her. She will tell the staff about the accident (in a nutshell), but she will not talk about it any further. Tonight, she did say to me "I just can't believe I'm like this," which just kills me because I can't believe it either. I'm glad she's starting to talk about it, or at least acknowledge it. She'll be seeing a Psychiatrist starting Monday, which will help even more.

I'm off to bed. It's been a busy day today. It is Heather's birthday, so we (Geoff, Heather, me and some of Heather's friends) went to the world's largest corn maze. We split into teams and OUR TEAM WON (thanks to Geoff's competitive nature... er, navigational skills!) at getting out the fastest. 40 acres of corn maze! Anyway, that sandwiched between hospital visits can wear a girl out.

More later.

love,
jennifer

New place to send wishes of all kinds

Just wanted to let everyone know Sheryl moved today and you can send cards, letters and flowers to:

Sheryl Barrett
California Pacific Regional Rehabilitation Center
Castro at Duboce Street
Davies Campus South Tower
Room 357
San Francisco, CA 94114

high and low

It's hard to imagine that there could be anymore days with the same intensity as the day of the accident but for me these last few have been. The fears of possibly losing Sheryl have been replaced with the intensity of daily advocating for Sheryl's care, and an overwhelming sense of helplessness around dealing with health care providers and health insurance systems. Such a timely thing to be experiencing with the presidential candidates saying they have a new and better plan for healthcare. Sheryl's situation is the perfect example of why our system is so broken. How can a person with a $1 million insurance policy be nearing its end after only 37 days!

The weight of this is coupled with some of the highest highs of the last 5 weeks.

The most important thing is she is progressing with leaps and bounds each day and will continue to get great care.

She has an amazing appetite and keeps giving high marks to the food at John Muir. She claims "it is truly the best in the nation".

From a healthcare standpoint, the doctors gave Sheryl the OK to move to a rehab nursing center TODAY. She will move to Cal Pacific Davies campus which is very close to where Geoff and I live. Here she will learn to regain mobility and become as self sufficient as one can with the injuries she has.

Also her orthopedic surgeon said he hopes to do the last surgery on her left femur within a few weeks. Such a relief because originally he said 4-6 months from the first surgery. This timing will allow all to hopefully get her weight bearing much faster. (although to manage expectations I think we are still talking 3 to 4 months)

Sheryl with each day gets physically stronger, psychological more aware and back to her smart, funny, unique Sheryl senses. Of course, with that comes the challenges of her realizing what happened, assessing where she is now and raising concerns of what is to come. As hard as this is for her (and us) it is such a great sign of recovery, and we know time, support from those around her and all those providing such great care will help her get through this.

We know EVERYONE is anxious to talk to her but she is not quite ready to start challenging the unlimited status of her "my circle" cell phone minutes yet. We will keep you posted.

April 2007, Big Sur/Monterey

Moving Along

After an eventful night watching Dancing With the Stars with me, Mom has made even more progress today.

This morning, Dr. McDannald removed the "button" over her trach, since she had been doing so well with her breathing and swallowing. As Mom is becoming more coherent, she is growing tired of these little procedures. They make her nervous and wear her out. She also had the feeding tube removed last night, which she HATED and has not yet forgotten. But, she's eating like a champ, and, in one day, has already been upgraded from "nectar thickness" to thin liquids and chunkier foods. She's been eating really well. She ate all of her breakfast this morning (cream of wheat, yogurt and juice) and then scarfed down a smoothie that I took her (all 16 oz!). Tonight, I'm taking her some pureed clam chowder and mashed sweet potatoes. She's been asking for fish, so she should like the clam chowder. I supplement her hospital food with better quality, more appetizing stuff, but, so far, she likes the hospital food, too.

She worked with a Physical Therapist again today, also. Tomorrow, we're going to get her into a wheelchair, so she can go outside. I hear there's a nice atrium at the hospital, so we'll go check it out. She should be moving to another hospital soon, since she's improving. We're still figuring out what type of facility that will be, so we'll keep you posted as it becomes more clear. We do know, for now, she'll remain in Northern CA, until she's better able to travel.

More later.

love,
jennifer

BIG Day

Wow. Today has been a big day already. We had no idea, we went in to visit Mom this morning, of all that would be happening.

First, she passed her second swallow test with a vanilla smoothie that she really enjoyed. After passing the swallow test, Dr. McDannald, her Pulmonologist, decided to remove the trach completely! So now, she has the trach out, with just a small "button" on the front of her neck, which they'll leave for another day or two as a sort of placeholder, should they need it again. She's talking whenever she wants now, since she no longer needs the passy/muir valve. I fed her some yogurt and orange juice and the nurse will be removing her feeding tube before we get back for our next visit.

She's still in and out of being confused, but, for the most part is tracking with us. Her friend/cousin (our family tree is a bit complicated), Laurie, came to visit her today. Mom recognized her and seemed glad to see her, although she commented to me about how "shitty" she looked to be having visitors. Her psychiatrist still wants to keep her stimulus to a minimum for now, until she becomes more and more alert.

We'll post more later! Thanks for all the cards. I'm taping them all over her room so she can see them.

love,
jennifer

Swallow Tests & Physical Therapy

Mom was more herself today than I've seen her so far - from answering questions appropriately (either mouthing them or speaking quietly when wearing the passy/muir valve) to sticking her tongue out at me when I couldn't read her lips.

I suggested that the nurse get her in the gurney chair 2 - 3 times today, since she's moving around so much when she's in the bed. It seemed to work to help her be more restful when she is in bed, and it also helps her lungs if she sits up more during the day. Her Respiratory Therapist came in while I was there this morning and put the passy/muir valve on. She wants her to wear it more regularly, as it helps increase activity in her lungs and throat. Mom and I talked for a while before Terri took the valve off, since Mom had asked to get back in bed and take a nap. I left and let Mom rest.

Heather and I went back a little while ago and found out that Mom had passed her first swallow test! To do the test, both the Respiratory Therapist and Speech Pathologist must be present. They fed her about 3 oz. of applesauce and she swallowed well. They put blue dye in the food, so, if it doesn't digest right, they can see the dye outside of her trach. Tomorrow, they will try her on liquids. They asked me to be there, since she was calmer today with me there.

A Physical Therapist also came by and worked with Mom on some movement with her legs and right arm. She'll come back again tomorrow. Mom seemed to enjoy the movement somewhat, especially with her right arm.

Heather and I will go back again tonight before visiting hours are over. Geoff went to Portland today to get his and Heather's car - replacing Heather's car, which was totalled in the accident. He'll be back late tonight.

More updates later.

love,
jennifer

One Month...

Today is the one month anniversary of the accident. Wow.

Geoff & I went to visit Mom tonight. She was much more alert and seemed more calm, mentally, although she is still extremely active physically. So much so that they have had a sitter in her room 24 hours/day all weekend. It's a bit hard to articulate, but the way Mom was moving tonight was different... less agitated and more of just "I'm ready to get out of bed" without the frustration and fear that was attached to it a few days ago. Her cheeks were especially rosy and she seemed to track with Geoff and me. She is certainly creating her own physical therapy with how much she is moving her arms and legs. What is interesting is the only limb she doesn't move with energy and freedom is her left arm, which was the only limb uninjured in the crash. They had the blood pressure cuff and IV in her left arm in ICU, so that might have something to do with it.

We're going to be sure to talk to her doctor tomorrow, to see what his plan is and to advocate for some physical therapy ASAP.

We'll send an update tomorrow.

love,
jennifer

A Not-So-Easy Transition

As great as it is to have Mom on a normal floor - which means that she is now healthy enough to be without all the monitors and close observation - the transition has not been an easy one.

Mom is very anxious, which the doctors attribute to her time in ICU (which, itself, is traumatic) and moving to an environment, which is not familiar to her. She's now in a different routine, with different nurses, etc. This has been extremely difficult for us, too, since we felt she was really on an upswing the last several days in ICU.

To help her deal with the transition (which is quite common for patients post-ICU), the nurses are keeping stimulus to a minimum for now. To that end, the social worker has suggested that Geoff, Heather and I take a couple days "off" from the hospital. I have spoken with Mom's nurses and they are well aware of the situation. They have Geoff's and my phone number and will call us should they feel that we need to be there or should Mom ask for us. We'll plan to go back to visit on Sunday.

That said, blogging might be slow this weekend, but we will update whenever we have news. We will be checking in frequently between now and Sunday.

love,
jennifer

Movin' on up

A quick post to give everyone an update on Sheryl's progress and life in her new digs. Geoff, Jennifer and I stopped by yesterday evening and last night. She was obviously happy to see us but not so interested in talking to us. I think the move has her a bit emotionally and physically worn. She seems a bit anxious again but hopefully that is just the true Sheryl spirit trying to come out.

Her room is small and the lucky lady has already received more flowers than can comfortably fit. If anymore are sent, honestly they will have to go into the hall. She has a long, long road ahead and will appreciate them more and more as the weeks pass. So please please please hold off on sending anymore. If you are thinking of sending flowers, I am happy to let you know when there is a bare space in the room. (e-mail me at heather@heathermiller.com). Thanks for your patience.

Online Raffle

Hi All. Laurel Thomas (daughter-in-law of Mom's sister, Linda) has set up an online raffle in order to raise money for Mom. Laurel has a company, called Thomas Handcrafted, and she hand makes high-quality bath products, such as soaps, bath salts, lip balms, body scrubs and soy candles. Raffle tickets are $2/each and you can purchase as many as you'd like. If your raffle ticket is drawn, you get to pick $45 worth of products from Thomas Handcrafted. It's an opportunity to contribute, with the possibility of getting something wonderful and pampering in return!

To check out the raffle, visit http://www.thomashandcrafted.com/RaffleforSheryl.html.

Big big thanks to Laurel for coming up with this great idea. Thank you, Laurel, for your care and generosity.

Mom's New Address

I just got back from spending the morning with Mom in her new digs. I must say I had overly high expectations. I must have been expecting the Four Seasons - a bright, plush room full of sunshine and happiness. Room 341, in reality, is just a hospital room - small room with a small window, which lacks a lovely view. I took Mom a pot of purple mums and some small pumpkins and hung all of her cards and some pictures on the wall, which spruced it up a bit. Mom has been more anxious today, which her nurse attributes to the new surroundings. She's still confused, but she seems to love the attention when the nurses, respiratory therapists, or doctors come in to check on her. Her face lights up and she smiles. She's probably used to having more attention like she did in ICU. For me, it's a bit strange to see her without all the monitors. Geoff, Heather and I had become accustomed to watching her respiratory rate, blood pressure, temperature, etc. In her new room, there are no monitors, no beeping, etc, which is nice, but also has me panic a bit, not knowing exactly what's going on at all times. I'm sure I'll adjust, just as she will.

Mom can now receive flowers, but the hospital does not allow balloons. Her room doesn't have much counter space, so if some people held off on sending flowers for a little while, that would probably be a good idea (and keep her with flowers longer!). She loves her cards, so keep them coming!

love,
jennifer

Mom's New Address:
John Muir Medical Center
1601 Ygnacio Valley Rd.
Walnut Creek, CA 94598
ATTN: Sheryl Barrett, Room 341

Movin' on Up

Mom's moving out of ICU tonight to a new room on a regular floor! I'll post her room number tomorrow. I am so excited that when I go visit her tomorrow, it won't be in Neuroscience ICU. Mom seems happy about the move, but she's still a bit drifty and confused so it's a little hard to tell what she's thinking.

Today was the first day I had heard mom's voice since the day of the accident. After arriving back from Indy, I headed straight to the hospital to see her. They had just taken the Passy/Muir valve off, but when I arrived, they put it back on so we could talk. As I said before, she's pretty confused, so sometimes she talks sense, other times not so much. I sat with her and we watched TV and looked at cards that friends have sent.

A lot has happened since I went home last week, so I'll just bullet point her progress to make things easier on all of us...

• Cervical collar has been removed.
• Passy/Muir valve is being used with trach, so that she can speak, albeit softly and not without a lot of effort on her part.
• Mom has been breathing completely on her own since Monday morning at a normal respiratory rate.
• Both leg wraps have been replaced with hard casts (these go from just below the knee over the foot w/ her toes exposed).
• Right arm cast has been removed. All that remains is a splint on her right thumb.
• Staples have been removed from the incisions from her femur surgeries.
• Medications have been reduced to only a high-blood pressure medication regularly. Pain meds are on an "as needed" basis. (She asked for some tonight when I was in her room, saying she had pain in her legs and arms.)
• She still has the feeding tube (down her nose), but they will feed her some applesauce tomorrow to see how she swallows. Today when they tested, her swallow was still a bit weak.

I think that about covers it. I'll update her address tomorrow, so you can continue to send cards.

Progress! Yippee!

love,

jennifer

Quick update for now...

Mom was ok tonight. A bit sleepy, but resting fairly comfortably. I will go by in the morning and should be able to talk to her. She may be moving off ICU tomorrow. I'll keep you all posted.

Love,

Geoff

Doctor's Update

It's funny that I can find out more about Mom's progress from Indy than some of the time when I'm standing in her room! Dr. de Boisblanc called this afternoon with an update. He said that mom was much more alert and awake this morning when he made rounds. She's still been a bit "in and out", but he isn't at all surprised, given the trauma she has suffered and the amount of sedation she received. She is breathing on her own today, and, if she breathes on her own all night, he will release her from ICU onto a regular floor tomorrow. I'm trying to contain my excitement, as I've learned not to try to predict, schedule or plan these days. Still, a bit of it is seeping through, thinking of her on a more "normal" floor where she can receive physical therapy, plus visitors and flowers!

Keep her in your thoughts, prayers, and hearts, please!

love,
jennifer

Mom's funny...

Tonight mom was fitted with a Passy/Muir valve which allowed her to talk. It was much more of a whisper, and barely audible, but we were able to communicate somewhat, which was great. She wanted water, which she can only have on a little foam swab. I soaked it with water and put it in her mouth. They also gave her some lemon swabs, which she really liked. She had gotten all the water she could have and I told her that was it. She stuck out her jaw and bit her upper lip, which is her signature sign of being unhappy about something. I completely cracked up! After a bit, we gave her a few more swabs. I asked her if she liked them, and she said "Well, Yeah!" Again, I about lost it. We still have a long, long way to go from here, but every little improvement is so nice. I stepped back and saw mom in the bed, with the trach, and on the passive motion machine, and I remembered that even with the improvements, she is badly injured and still has quite a road ahead.

Love to all,

Geoff

Good night....

Today was great. I went and raced my bike this morning before heading to the hospital. On the drive back, I heard a story on NPR that was quite profound. It was about a program called The Harlem Children's Zone. www.hcz.org I won't go into all the details, but part of the program really resonated with me.

Of the low income families that were subjects of a study they conducted, children of working professionals heard over 2 million more words by the time they were 2 yrs old than children of non-working couples. Along with this was a breakdown of encouraging vs discouraging statements. The children of working professionals hear a dramatically higher percentage of encouraging statements than kids of non-working parents. The point of this is that the children who heard these extra words of encouragement - or maybe just less discouragement! - were much better students, and had a better chance of breaking free of the cycle of poverty that has trapped so many families.

After hearing this I started thinking about how much encouragement and support we have gotten from all of you around our current situation. It is huge that we can go into mom's room with genuine words of encouragement, untainted by "can we pay the rent," or "what will mom do when she gets home?" We can be there for her in a way that will help her get better, knowing that she has so many shoulders to stand on.

A big lesson for me today was taking a look at how I am with the people in my life. Am I encouraging or discouraging? I'm both, but have a tendency to be critical and judgmental as my first reaction. I hope to remember that those around me, particularly mom right now, already know how hard life can be. We don't need discouraging reminders of that! I hope to be an encouraging reminder to mom, and everyone around me, of the good in them and in our lives. It's too easy to lose sight of the good, especially in the face of extreme hardship.

We went and saw mom tonight, and she was resting comfortably. She has been breathing on her own all day today, and will continue to do so as long as her vitals look good. She has been cracking some smiles, although she seems a little more tired today than yesterday. The doctors continue to wean her from the pain and anti-anxiety medicines. She is only on a blood-pressure med that has some anti-anxiety properties. No pain meds, no IV meds. I'm happy to see her coming around. I showed her videos of Thatcher and the birds that Fred so kindly sent, and we told her that all her friends are thinking of her and are checking in. Jen, Heather and I will keep you all posted.

Thanks again for everything.

Back Home in Indy

It's nice to be home. Kuba and I are celebrating our 2 year anniversary a few days early, given the current situation in California. Last night, our friends had a party for us, which was great. My friends are incredibly supportive, and it re-energized me to be with them. All of them are caring, loving and fun, and I so appreciate them for creating an evening for us, where we could "escape" a bit.

During the party, I received a message from Geoff that mom was doing much better. When we spoke later, he put me on speaker phone, so that I could talk to mom. Yippee. I got a message from Heather this afternoon that mom has been breathing on her own again today (trach still in, but ventilator off). The next step is to cover the trach opening, so that she can talk. I can't wait!

Seeing her Tuesday when I get back to California will be such a different experience. I'm already overwhelmed (in a good way) to think of her talking back to me. How I've missed her voice and her laughter the past 3 weeks.

Until then, I'll dig up all the summer plants to get the yard ready for fall, spend plenty of time with Kuba and Star, our cat, and add more good music to my iPod to have ready for mom when I get back. Maybe she'll be ready to sing along.

love,
jennifer

smilestone

Today is three weeks from the crash. Originally, we were told the best case scenario Sheryl would be out of the hospital in three weeks and here we are still in ICU. In every way, I let go of my preconceived idea of things moving forward with in a certain timeframe. We've been told her surgery might happen on this day or that one, and it did or it didn't. It felt like Sheryl was snowed under for 4-5 days, when we thought she would be coming out sedation. Each day, I've checked off the milestone or had to move the check box to an undetermined spot further down the road. Originally, I had in my head that days, weeks or hours would define Sheryl's progress.

What defined Sheryl's progress today came in the simplest, most mighty form—a smile. yes a smile. Geoff and I went in tonight and she smiled when she looked at us. Then we told her a joke (albeit a stupid one) and she smiled again. We told her the story of our day and put Jennifer on the speaker phone and her expression indicated she obviously followed what were saying. We told her we love her and she mouthed back I love you. The difference a day makes, in this case even a few hours.

Dr D came in this afternoon and took off her cervical collar. (Somehow this seems less significant now, 2 days ago it would have been one of the biggest things for the week.) She has been in the chair again today, and breathing on her own for a while throughout the day. They also raised the head of her bed so she is more upright and able to see out more. All progress. and we are all smiles.

Please send us jokes to share with Sheryl. Our repertoire is pretty thin.

Heather

Coming Around...

Hello Everyone,

After working for a bit in the city today, I came back to Walnut Creek and went straight to the hospital. Mom was sleeping very comfortably so I just sat in the chair for a while. It still hits me pretty hard to see her, and to think about what was "supposed" to be going on right now. After about an hour there, I came back to the cottage and made some dinner for Heather and me. We went back at 8 and Mom was sleeping, but was pretty fitful. The nurse thinks that she will be lucid enough to get the collar off tomorrow, but I have learned not to count on things like that. If it happens, it happens. She does seem to be coming out of the fog, which is fantastic. I can't wait to be able to talk to each other. I'll miss Jen while she's gone, but she certainly needs some time to decompress. Thanks again for all the support.

Love,

Geoff

Uppity Duppity Little Chicken

That's what Mom always said to Geoff and me upon waking in the mornings. Today, Mom seems to be waking. Her doctor has decreased her anti-anxiety medication and her pain meds, so that she can wake up and ace her breathing tests. Apparently, when you're under a blanket of narcotics, it's hard to follow commands. Go figure. Anyway, today she seems much more alert. Ironically, she seems to be much more calm, also. I think she's waking up enough where she can better handle what's going on, and she is much receptive to calming words. This morning, when Geoff and I went to see her, her eyes were clear and I saw HER. I asked her if she wanted to watch TV, and she nodded her head. When I told her I was holding her hand, she squeezed. She's still a little "in and out" of the fog, but she is becoming more alert.

The put her in the gurney chair again today. (Yesterday, she stayed in it for more than an hour.) Heather and I are heading back to the hospital soon. Geoff headed into SF for the day to get some work done and I am heading back to Indy this afternoon for the weekend. I very much need my home, my husband, my cat for a little "mental health" break. And, at the same time, I don't like leaving mom. All the nurses tell us to take care of ourselves... that the hard part is still to come, so I'll go home, make sure the house is still standing (I haven't been home in over a month now) and recharge my batteries.

love,
jennifer

Where to send cards to Mom?

I've had a lot of e-mails from friends and family wanting to send cards to Mom. I've included the address below. Since she is still in ICU, we'll all have to hold off on flowers for now, but we'll let you know when she's on a regular floor and can receive more than cards.

Thank you!

John Muir Medical Center
1601 Ygnacio Valley Rd.
Walnut Creek, CA 94598
ATTN: NSICU, Sheryl Barrett

A More Restful Wednesday

Hi All. Geoff and I spent a couple of hours in mom's room this morning. We decided to camp out there, so that we could calm her if she became agitated. We had only a couple of opportunities to do that, as she seemed much more relaxed today. Geoff, Heather and I made a playlist with some of mom's favorite more mellow music, so there is now music in her room. I did a little research, and music has been very effective in helping patients, who are intubated, to heal more quickly. It has also been shown to reduce anxiety in patients. It's anyone's guess if it's the music, the anti-anxiety medication, the sedation wearing off more and more each day or having her kids in the room that's relaxing her. What's important, is that she is more calm - her breathing is slower and she's only on the vent at a very low level, just to back her up if she needs it.

This afternoon, they will put her up in a gurney chair. Her doctor wants her to be sitting up ASAP, since she's been laying down for 2 1/2 weeks now. This not only helps her muscles and skin, but allows her lungs to function more properly and provides variety for mom. They did this yesterday, thinking she might only tolerate it for a few minutes, but she sat there for 45 minutes. After that, she was tired and rested well for the rest of the afternoon. Today, they will sit her up again. They'll also take the ventilator tube off of her trach entryway, in order to see how she's breathing completely on her own (no ventilator for back up). Now that she has the trach, they can try things like this, since they can pop the tube off and onto the trach easily. It's much more easy to regulate the vent on the trach than it was when she had the breathing tube down her throat.

We'll be heading back to the hospital to be with her while she's in the gurney chair, so we'll post again later today.

love,
jennifer

Kicking and squirming....

Hello All,

Oh, for better days...

Mom is having a tough time. She is extremely anxious and restless, but without the facilities to express herself. She almost knocked the passive motion machine off the bed by squirming, and her nurse said that she has an incredibly high tolerance for the anti-anxiety medicine, so that doesn't help anything. I spent time tonight by her bed, assuring her that she was OK when she would wake, and being quiet when she was asleep. She would be calm for about two minutes, and then she would wake and start arching her back and moving around, which causes her heartrate to elevate and her breathing rate to increase. I think it is important for her to have reassurance that she will be OK, so I will not be going to the shop tomorrow. She seems to be at a critical point, coming off the sedation, but not coherent. The goal is to get her off sedation, off the vent and off the ICU. It looks like things will get worse before they get better.

Love,

Geoff

Quick update for now...

Hi Everyone. Mom had a tracheotomy today, which went well and without complication. She is now completely off the sedation. Geoff, Heather and I went in to see her shortly after the procedure and she was asleep. Although we were hoping she could come completely off the vent all at once, it sure is nice to see her restful and comfortable and to see her face without all the tubes down her throat - the white tape holding them in place across her face. There are no visiting hours from 3 - 4, so we took a break from the hospital but will head back there in the next few minutes. We'll post a more thorough update this evening.

Thanks, again and again, for your support.

love,
jennifer

Sunday Update

It's a lot like the movie Groundhog Day around here. Mom is still too anxious to do well on the breathing tests. However, she is breathing on her own and doing well at that... they just have to make sure she can sustain it before removing the tube. Today, it seems like the weekend pulmonologist, in tandem with Mom's day nurse, RJ, made some good decisions. They will put her on a low dose of anti-anxiety medication 24 hours/day, so that she is more regulated. As it's been, they give her the anti-anxiety when she needs it, then it knocks her out, which works against her for the breathing tests. So, they're working hard to get her anxiety under control, since that seems to be the major obstacle for her at this point.

It was an especially heavy day in Neuro ICU today. (She's in Neuro ICU, just b/c they had a nicer room available there.) A 29 year-old local police officer was in an auto accident yesterday and has been declared brain-dead. They're keeping him on life-support to see if organ donation is an option. Other stories of tragedy unfold daily. Neuro ICU is just a heavy place to hang out... no one in there is necessarily doing well, and guests often pass by completely in tears. I'll be so glad for Mom to get out of there. It really feels like she's in the wrong place.

We'll know more about what's next tomorrow, since Mom's doctors will all be back after the weekend.

love,
jennifer

Saturday Again

Well, Mom is still on the vent. They took her off sedation this morning, and, again, she got anxious and her breathing was too rapid to "pass the test." Geoff and I were both extremely disheartened to get to the hospital this morning to find her sedated again, when we had been expecting extubation. They'll try again tomorrow morning, and Geoff and I have requested that they do not take her off sedation until visiting hours, so that we can be there when she wakes up. We hope that it will relax her a bit to see familiar faces when she wakes up, and, that with our help and reassurance, she will remain calm for enough time to satisfy the doctors, so they can proceed with extubation. If our Jedi mind trick doesn't work, they will most like do a tracheotomy tomorrow, which will keep her on the vent, but allow them to decrease the sedation (since she won't have a tube down her throat) and get her moving more, which will be good for her lungs and muscles. Also, with the trach, it is easier to regulate the frequency of breaths given to her by the ventilator. They can take the trach out as soon as she is doing well breathing on her own, which could be a short amount of time, given that mom's lungs are in pretty good shape. After seeing her sedated again today, I just want her to be comfortable - to have the tube out of her mouth however she can. She's far too anxious when she isn't sedated, since, as I've been told, breathing through a ventilator is like breathing through a straw. Not fun for anyone.

Today was not an easy day. Geoff and I try to be 50% advocate/50% asshole when dealing with the nurses and doctors, and today we were certainly the latter. When we walked in and saw her sedated again, we lost it. It made no sense, since we had been told yesterday that she had done well on her breathing tests. And, we found out that when they took her off sedation this morning, they did not give her anti-anxiety medication, which we have told every one of her nurses is very important for her. That was just the start of the day.

Please send lots of positive energy, prayers and love to mom tomorrow morning. Around 9Am PST, we'll be working with her to relax, so they can take that damn tube out once and for all. Please try to take a moment and envision her relaxed and calm, so we can all contribute to the next step in her recovery. (If you're not into all this woo woo stuff, just do whatever works for you!)

Thanks to all for your support. Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

love,
jennifer

Friday, 10/3

Mom remains on the vent today. They took her completely off sedation (same story, different day) to check her lungs and her stamina as it relates to her breathing. They monitored her today... watching the depth of her breaths, frequency, and her ability to not "tucker out." I spent quite a bit of time in her room today, just sitting with her, hoping it would help her relax. I'm never sure if it helps or makes her more agitated, having any of us there and not being able to talk to us. Her nurse said she's doing well with her breathing today, but that she's "right on the fence", so she expects her to be extubated tomorrow. I guess each day she's doing better with the testing, but she's got a tiny bit more to go before getting the tube out. So, tomorrow, we'll do all this again.

I went to the doctor yesterday for a follow up and seem to be healing, although I'm still not 100%. He told me that my bruises are in the exact same places as Mom's, and that the only reason I didn't have the injuries she had was because my bones are stronger. I had been thinking that she had more impact because of the steering wheel, pedals, etc., but he said Mom's only break from any of those things was her thumb, which broke b/c of the steering wheel. Now that I look at my bruises, I see where the dashboard hit me just at the knees, exactly where Mom's were hit, which caused her femurs to fracture. Whew... just more info to process.

More updates to come, as always.

love,
jennifer

Out of Surgery.....

Hey Everybody,

Mom made it through surgery tonight, so that's all the surgery for now. Dr Coufal fixed her right ankle and left foot. She remains on the vent tube as her lungs are not yet strong enough to breathe on her own. Her doctor will try again tomorrow to wean her from the vent, so Jen, Heather and I will go in to help her focus on her breathing and get past this. I know the vent, neck collar and lack of communication are so hard for her. It's hard for us as well, and we will be grateful for the chance to talk to her soon. A pleasant side note is that Heather, Jennifer and I have been having fun together. I'm glad we get along!

Love,

Geoff

Big Day

Geoff and I went to see Mom this morning. Her doctor wants to get her off the vent prior to surgery, so she is off all sedation at this point. He thinks it's better to take her off and just use a temporary breathing tube for the surgery, so, when she's out of surgery, she's off the vent. They are doing some breathing tests on her this morning to make sure she is taking deep enough breaths. I told her she was being tested and Geoff and I worked with her on taking slow, deep breaths. She seemed to be doing a good job at this, as much as she can stay relaxed.

As most of you know, my mom has a ton of energy, and when we got to her room this morning, she had squirmed so much that one of her legs was off the bed. The nurses quickly repositioned her. I told her that she wasn't quite ready for dancing yet.

Mom's surgery has been rescheduled to 4:30PM today, which can always change depending on cancellations or additions to her surgeon's schedule.

We'll keep you posted after surgery.

Rounding a corner

Today was met with some progress for Mom. It started when I called the hospital this morning and asked her nurse, Chris, how Mom was doing. It was the first time I had heard "good" as a response to that question. She said they had stopped Mom's sedation in order to wean her off the vent. Geoff went into SF to do some work and Heather and I headed to the hospital. Mom was very alert and her eyes were clearer than I had seen them since the accident. It was great to be with her free from the sedation, but, at the same time, it was difficult, as she seemed to get more agitated not being able to talk to us and not having the sedation to relax her. They have been giving her some anti-anxiety medication to take the edge off, since taking off the sedation.

Dr. Coufal, mom's orthopedic surgeon, has scheduled her next two surgeries for tomorrow. She goes in at 2:30 to have her right ankle and left foot fixed. After that, the remaining surgery will be a bone graft in no less than 3 months. Once they complete tomorrow's surgeries, they should be able to take her off the vent relatively quickly. Today, they had her doing most of her own breathing in order to strengthen and check her lungs, and all seemed to be going well. They gave her a transfusion this evening when we were there, and will put her back on the vent and sedation tonight, in order to get her rested and ready for surgery tomorrow.

Looking ahead, once the remove the vent, they will do a "swallow test", which, if passed, will lead to removal of the feeding tube. Once she gets the tubes out of her mouth and can verbally tell the doctors that her neck doesn't hurt, they can take off the neck brace she's been wearing since the accident. Getting the tubes out and the neck brace off will be huge for her, allowing her to move more freely and to communicate.

We will be there to see her tomorrow pre-surgery, then head to my doctor's appointment at 3:30 to check my injuries. We will post an update to the blog as soon as we get the results after her surgery.

Keep the prayers and healing energy coming. Tomorrow will be a big day.