Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Analyzing Illusions...
I have had some crushing experiences in my life. Most of you know about them, and if you don't, buy me a coke sometime. Tonight was a breakdown for me. I have spent the last several days keeping tabs, organizing and analyzing, calculating and tracking progress. Is mom's fever up or down? How's the respiratory rate? Heart rate? How was the morning X-ray? What calls need to be made?
Tonight, looking at mom squirming in her bed with a breathing tube, lines of staples across her knees, 3 pumps, countless tubes, the little bit of tape adhesive by her lip, her leg moving slowly up and down on the machine - I just lost it. I all of a sudden saw the last picture I took of my mom in my mind.
It was taken at a gas station in SF as we were leaving town. I had gone to get us sandwiches and had bought mom a Kombucha drink. She was drinking it in the car at the station when I walked over with my camera to snap a shot. The bikes were on top of the car, it had party supplies inside, and mom was looking the part of California recreation. "Hey mom, looks like you are headed out for a fun weekend. Going to do a little biking?" She didn't say anything, but she held up her drink - I think she sees the Kombucha as a bit special, since she only has it here - and smiled a smile that told me she wouldn't be anywhere else. She has this whimsical way about her that is so endearing - you might have noticed!
I took the pic, with Jen leaning in from the passenger seat. I saw it in my mind tonight and I realized that I had forgotten who mom is. I have been spending so much energy keeping track that I forgot that my mom has been devastated. All the small bits of progress - her stable condition, the past surgeries, etc... - didn't matter a damn when I held that picture up against my mom lying in a hospital bed struggling and scared, the next two years of her life spent recovering from this senseless and tragic crime.
Remembering my mom as the person she is cracked through the walls of intellectualization and I broke. I love my mom dearly, and will continue to work for her recovery, but I have to remember who she is and what has happened to her. I had been hanging onto any small progress, however illusory, so much that I lost sight of the real picture. I had been looking so far into the future that I had shut myself off from the present.
This is going to be a long process. There is no way that I can adequately express the gratitude that I feel for the support that has been given us. It is huge to know that we have so many incredible people who care about mom, and about the rest of us. I hope I never have the chance to repay in a like fashion, but know you have my undying gratitude.
As for a "real" update, mom is about the same. She was agitated and restless tonight, and I had the nurse give her some Ativan for anxiety. They are looking at weaning her off the vent, but the surgery on her foot and ankle might happen this week, so it's hard to tell how things will happen. We have a list of things to handle tomorrow around her insurance, the police report, doctor's follow-ups and some guitar repair. I almost forgot that I own a business...
Love,
Geoff
Tonight, looking at mom squirming in her bed with a breathing tube, lines of staples across her knees, 3 pumps, countless tubes, the little bit of tape adhesive by her lip, her leg moving slowly up and down on the machine - I just lost it. I all of a sudden saw the last picture I took of my mom in my mind.
It was taken at a gas station in SF as we were leaving town. I had gone to get us sandwiches and had bought mom a Kombucha drink. She was drinking it in the car at the station when I walked over with my camera to snap a shot. The bikes were on top of the car, it had party supplies inside, and mom was looking the part of California recreation. "Hey mom, looks like you are headed out for a fun weekend. Going to do a little biking?" She didn't say anything, but she held up her drink - I think she sees the Kombucha as a bit special, since she only has it here - and smiled a smile that told me she wouldn't be anywhere else. She has this whimsical way about her that is so endearing - you might have noticed!
I took the pic, with Jen leaning in from the passenger seat. I saw it in my mind tonight and I realized that I had forgotten who mom is. I have been spending so much energy keeping track that I forgot that my mom has been devastated. All the small bits of progress - her stable condition, the past surgeries, etc... - didn't matter a damn when I held that picture up against my mom lying in a hospital bed struggling and scared, the next two years of her life spent recovering from this senseless and tragic crime.
Remembering my mom as the person she is cracked through the walls of intellectualization and I broke. I love my mom dearly, and will continue to work for her recovery, but I have to remember who she is and what has happened to her. I had been hanging onto any small progress, however illusory, so much that I lost sight of the real picture. I had been looking so far into the future that I had shut myself off from the present.
This is going to be a long process. There is no way that I can adequately express the gratitude that I feel for the support that has been given us. It is huge to know that we have so many incredible people who care about mom, and about the rest of us. I hope I never have the chance to repay in a like fashion, but know you have my undying gratitude.
As for a "real" update, mom is about the same. She was agitated and restless tonight, and I had the nurse give her some Ativan for anxiety. They are looking at weaning her off the vent, but the surgery on her foot and ankle might happen this week, so it's hard to tell how things will happen. We have a list of things to handle tomorrow around her insurance, the police report, doctor's follow-ups and some guitar repair. I almost forgot that I own a business...
Love,
Geoff
Day 12... really?
Wow. Day 12 already. Very hard to believe.
Today wasn't marked by much movement. Mom remains stable on the ventilator. The swelling in her legs is continuing to go down. I put a call in to her orthopedic surgeon today to see if they might be able to go ahead with the remaining surgeries (right ankle, left foot) soon, since the swelling is going down. The original plan was to complete all surgeries and remove the vent post-surgery once and for all, so I'm wondering if they can go back to that plan, since she's not quite ready to have the vent removed, due to some remaining congestion in her lungs.
When Geoff and I visited mom this morning, she was awake and alert. We have learned that it's best for us to be mellow and to just stand next to her bed, holding her hand or stroking her forehead. We've been missing talking to her so much that we run in there telling her all the day's news when she's awake, which can tend to agitate her (I'm assuming b/c she can't yak it up with us). It's been working out a lot better to just whisper to her that she's doing great and that we love her and to allow her to remain calm. Anyway, this morning, she was moving her legs from side to side on her own, which we hadn't seen her do before. She was just rocking them back and forth, as if she had just realized that she can control them. It was nice to see some self-generated movement from her.
We went back to see her this afternoon and she was sleeping. We'll go back again before visiting hours are over today.
I want to extend a huge thank you to everyone for all of the support. The e-mails, phone calls, posts to the blog, monetary donations, etc. are all so appreciated and encourage us to keep moving forward.
We're learning a lot of stuff that we never cared to know about, but we want to be sure we are educated about all that is happening with Mom. There are so many facets to this ordeal - from health care, to insurance, to felony convictions and preliminary hearings. It's a lot to deal with.
Anyway, thanks again for all of the support. We are so fortunate to be loved and cared for by such amazing family and friends.
It's Geoff's turn to do the next update, so watch for it tonight or tomorrow.
Today wasn't marked by much movement. Mom remains stable on the ventilator. The swelling in her legs is continuing to go down. I put a call in to her orthopedic surgeon today to see if they might be able to go ahead with the remaining surgeries (right ankle, left foot) soon, since the swelling is going down. The original plan was to complete all surgeries and remove the vent post-surgery once and for all, so I'm wondering if they can go back to that plan, since she's not quite ready to have the vent removed, due to some remaining congestion in her lungs.
When Geoff and I visited mom this morning, she was awake and alert. We have learned that it's best for us to be mellow and to just stand next to her bed, holding her hand or stroking her forehead. We've been missing talking to her so much that we run in there telling her all the day's news when she's awake, which can tend to agitate her (I'm assuming b/c she can't yak it up with us). It's been working out a lot better to just whisper to her that she's doing great and that we love her and to allow her to remain calm. Anyway, this morning, she was moving her legs from side to side on her own, which we hadn't seen her do before. She was just rocking them back and forth, as if she had just realized that she can control them. It was nice to see some self-generated movement from her.
We went back to see her this afternoon and she was sleeping. We'll go back again before visiting hours are over today.
I want to extend a huge thank you to everyone for all of the support. The e-mails, phone calls, posts to the blog, monetary donations, etc. are all so appreciated and encourage us to keep moving forward.
We're learning a lot of stuff that we never cared to know about, but we want to be sure we are educated about all that is happening with Mom. There are so many facets to this ordeal - from health care, to insurance, to felony convictions and preliminary hearings. It's a lot to deal with.
Anyway, thanks again for all of the support. We are so fortunate to be loved and cared for by such amazing family and friends.
It's Geoff's turn to do the next update, so watch for it tonight or tomorrow.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Monday visit
Mom seemed comfortable this morning. She was on the machine, which was moving her left leg. Because her congestion is still hanging around, they will try again tomorrow to extubate her. Her temperature is down to normal and the swelling in her legs is beginning to go down. They are still waiting for the swelling to go down, so they can finish up her remaining surgeries (left foot, right ankle).
We'll go see her again later. In the meantime, we have calls to make to follow-up on insurance stuff.
More later.
We'll go see her again later. In the meantime, we have calls to make to follow-up on insurance stuff.
More later.
Monday already
We'll be heading in to the hospital soon. When I called this morning, mom's nurse said that mom hadn't slept much last night. I told Geoff that maybe Mom was awake and that she'll be ready to rock today. We'll see. Dr. deBoisblanc, Mom's trauma physician, had been by to see her this morning. Although he is still a bit concerned about her lungs, he wants to try to ween her from the vent again today.
We'll post an update after our visit.
We'll post an update after our visit.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Another day
Mom is still on the vent. She has some congestion in her lungs, which is to be expected given the trauma she has sustained. Her nurse this evening said that she could have the vent in for at least a few more days, until the congestion clears from her lungs. For now, they have to suction the congestion, which mom, understandably, hates.
Geoff and I were able to talk to mom a little bit tonight, as she was fairly alert. She was on the machine, which was moving her right leg tonight. She made eye contact with each of us more than we had seen since the accident. We try to assure her, over and over, that she will be okay, that the tube will come out soon, and that she will recover from all of this. Geoff and I did a little bit of energy work on her tonight. I'm sure mom would think we were hippy freaks if she saw us, but we're trying anything and everything to speed up her recovery.
When I was talking to her tonight, Geoff put his fingers up as "rabbit ears" behind my head. Real mature, huh?
Mom's temperature is just above normal, so it has gone down a bit in the last day, along with her blood pressure. I try to walk away with some victories each day, so there they are.
They do a chest x-ray each day to check her congestion, so we'll have a new report on that tomorrow morning. We're calling her surgeon tomorrow as well.
Good night. Thanks to everyone for all of your support.
Geoff and I were able to talk to mom a little bit tonight, as she was fairly alert. She was on the machine, which was moving her right leg tonight. She made eye contact with each of us more than we had seen since the accident. We try to assure her, over and over, that she will be okay, that the tube will come out soon, and that she will recover from all of this. Geoff and I did a little bit of energy work on her tonight. I'm sure mom would think we were hippy freaks if she saw us, but we're trying anything and everything to speed up her recovery.
When I was talking to her tonight, Geoff put his fingers up as "rabbit ears" behind my head. Real mature, huh?
Mom's temperature is just above normal, so it has gone down a bit in the last day, along with her blood pressure. I try to walk away with some victories each day, so there they are.
They do a chest x-ray each day to check her congestion, so we'll have a new report on that tomorrow morning. We're calling her surgeon tomorrow as well.
Good night. Thanks to everyone for all of your support.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Peaks & Valleys
We just got back from visiting Mom. They have reduced her sedation, so she was more awake/aware than we had seen her so far. She seemed very comfortable and seemed to follow what I was saying. They had the TV on for her, so I asked her if she wanted it on, and she nodded her head. I asked her if it was okay to hold her hand (since she has cuts on it) and, again, she nodded.
Her nurse reported that they have started Mom on some sort of machine, that moves her legs, one at a time. She had already been on the machine for 4 hours today. They were getting ready to put her on it again, on her other leg, for another stint. After all that movement, I'm pleased that she seemed restful. I wonder if it feels good, on some level, for her to move... moving her blood and energy through her body for the first time in over a week. She is being weened off the vent, however, they think it will be tomorrow before she is off of it completely. Today, when they began reducing the breaths the vent takes for her, they thought she became too labored. The nurse assured us it was nothing uncommon - just that they don't want her to be working too hard right now.
That's all for now. We'll keep you posted.
Her nurse reported that they have started Mom on some sort of machine, that moves her legs, one at a time. She had already been on the machine for 4 hours today. They were getting ready to put her on it again, on her other leg, for another stint. After all that movement, I'm pleased that she seemed restful. I wonder if it feels good, on some level, for her to move... moving her blood and energy through her body for the first time in over a week. She is being weened off the vent, however, they think it will be tomorrow before she is off of it completely. Today, when they began reducing the breaths the vent takes for her, they thought she became too labored. The nurse assured us it was nothing uncommon - just that they don't want her to be working too hard right now.
That's all for now. We'll keep you posted.
Meltdowns
Each day, I wonder when it will get better. I wonder how much longer I can see my mom this way. She's just far too feisty and upbeat to be in this position. I see it on her face that she hurts, and that she hates being there, and I just hope she knows that we're doing everything we can to take care of her... that she WILL get better. Everyday, I think it's been the worst day for me, until the next day comes. I miss talking to her so much and sometimes, I think maybe she'll call me soon. I'll wake up and think "Mom hasn't called in a while... maybe she'll call me." I enjoy those small breaks from reality.
In spite of my daily meltdowns, Mom continues to be a fighter. Today, they began weening her from the ventilator. Her nurse said that she could be off of it as early as this afternoon, depending on how well her lungs do their job as they decrease the number of breaths the vent takes for her. They will have to put the vent back in when she is ready for her next surgeries - her left foot and right ankle - which will be done when her swelling goes down.
We'll be heading to the hospital soon to visit.
In spite of my daily meltdowns, Mom continues to be a fighter. Today, they began weening her from the ventilator. Her nurse said that she could be off of it as early as this afternoon, depending on how well her lungs do their job as they decrease the number of breaths the vent takes for her. They will have to put the vent back in when she is ready for her next surgeries - her left foot and right ankle - which will be done when her swelling goes down.
We'll be heading to the hospital soon to visit.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Talked to Ortho...
Hey Everyone,
We talked to the orthopedic surgeon tonight. He said that things are progressing as well as can be expected. Mom may be taken off the vent in the next day or so. He does not think that he will be able to operate on the ankle or foot until the later part of next week, so it will be best to let her airway function on its own until then. Mom was "awake" for most of the time we were there. She seemed to be in some pain, but the surgeon said that most patients don't remember any of it. That was good to hear, as it is very hard to see her this way. I don't like seeing her with tubes and drips, and I definitely don't like seeing her in pain. They will be putting her legs in a device that will begin mobilizing them sometime soon. I know that will be agonizing, but they need to start movement as soon as possible. It also looks like she will not be able to walk on her left leg until she has a bone graft, which will be 3 months from now, best case. All things considered, we are very grateful, and very tired. Jen's back is still very sore, and she is having some trouble getting around.
Love,
Geoff
We talked to the orthopedic surgeon tonight. He said that things are progressing as well as can be expected. Mom may be taken off the vent in the next day or so. He does not think that he will be able to operate on the ankle or foot until the later part of next week, so it will be best to let her airway function on its own until then. Mom was "awake" for most of the time we were there. She seemed to be in some pain, but the surgeon said that most patients don't remember any of it. That was good to hear, as it is very hard to see her this way. I don't like seeing her with tubes and drips, and I definitely don't like seeing her in pain. They will be putting her legs in a device that will begin mobilizing them sometime soon. I know that will be agonizing, but they need to start movement as soon as possible. It also looks like she will not be able to walk on her left leg until she has a bone graft, which will be 3 months from now, best case. All things considered, we are very grateful, and very tired. Jen's back is still very sore, and she is having some trouble getting around.
Love,
Geoff
No news is good news
Heather and I are heading to the hospital soon to see mom. Geoff went in to SF today to take care of some business, and will be back in time to see mom later today. Geoff checked in with mom's nurse this morning and mom is still stable. She has a slight fever (not unusual given the trauma she sustained), so they removed her leg braces to allow her body to cool down more. We will keep you posted on how she's doing.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
After Surgery...
Hey Gang,
Mom is out of surgery. The Dr. repaired her right humerus and her right thumb. She now has a drain in her arm, but the chest drainage tube has been removed. She was out of surgery for almost two hours before the nurse called us. She thought the doctor was doing it, but I guess he forgot! We were waiting in the urgent care across the street since Heather got a bacterial infection on her foot due to a blister from her wedding shoes. She's fine, but the craziness continues. We'll update as we know more, but it looks like they will wean her off the vent soon. The legs have a way to go before the next surgery can happen. As bad as it is - so far, so good.
People have asked how they can help. There will be plenty of opportunity to pitch in when Mom returns to OKC, but for now our expenses are our primary concern. Heather, Jennifer and I have been staying in Walnut Creek, CA, where Mom is being treated, which means we have food and lodging expenses to incur. Several of you have already contributed to our food and lodging, which is much appreciated. Jennifer is working on applying for disability, since she still has mobility issues, and she and Mom may be eligible for support from Victims of Violent Crimes. But, as you know, these things take time. If you would like to pitch in for the expenses we are incurring, you can PayPal your contribution via www.paypal.com to Jennifer's account: jenluttrell@yahoo.com. Thanks again for all your support, calls, emails, positive energy and prayers.
Take care,
Geoff
Mom is out of surgery. The Dr. repaired her right humerus and her right thumb. She now has a drain in her arm, but the chest drainage tube has been removed. She was out of surgery for almost two hours before the nurse called us. She thought the doctor was doing it, but I guess he forgot! We were waiting in the urgent care across the street since Heather got a bacterial infection on her foot due to a blister from her wedding shoes. She's fine, but the craziness continues. We'll update as we know more, but it looks like they will wean her off the vent soon. The legs have a way to go before the next surgery can happen. As bad as it is - so far, so good.
People have asked how they can help. There will be plenty of opportunity to pitch in when Mom returns to OKC, but for now our expenses are our primary concern. Heather, Jennifer and I have been staying in Walnut Creek, CA, where Mom is being treated, which means we have food and lodging expenses to incur. Several of you have already contributed to our food and lodging, which is much appreciated. Jennifer is working on applying for disability, since she still has mobility issues, and she and Mom may be eligible for support from Victims of Violent Crimes. But, as you know, these things take time. If you would like to pitch in for the expenses we are incurring, you can PayPal your contribution via www.paypal.com to Jennifer's account: jenluttrell@yahoo.com. Thanks again for all your support, calls, emails, positive energy and prayers.
Take care,
Geoff
Mom's in Surgery
Geoff & I got to see mom before she headed into surgery around 12:45 this afternoon. She woke up a little and knew we were there. I can tell how much she hates that breathing tube and I can't wait for her to get it out. If all goes as planned, she should get it out in the next day or two. I'm sure she'll have a lot to say. We'll post an update as soon as we hear from mom's doctors post-surgery.
I got good news today, that my CT scan came back "unremarkable." I have a follow-up appointment w/ mom's doctor next week to see if I need any additional treatment.
Watch for an update as soon as we have one. Keep mom in your thoughts, prayers, healing light, or whatever works for you. She's a fighter. I'm seeing that now more than ever.
I got good news today, that my CT scan came back "unremarkable." I have a follow-up appointment w/ mom's doctor next week to see if I need any additional treatment.
Watch for an update as soon as we have one. Keep mom in your thoughts, prayers, healing light, or whatever works for you. She's a fighter. I'm seeing that now more than ever.
A few more details
I just want to add to Geoff's post by saying thank you to everyone for your support. We have received calls and e-mails from so many people, which just helps us to get through this. Even though mom is sedated and can't talk to us right now, I do pass along the well wishes and read her some of the e-mails that are sent. I know she'd want to hear them.
Mom is, clearly, in very serious condition. However, the doctors reports have been encouraging. She is very fortunate to have not suffered trauma to her head, neck, spine or pelvis. All that is broken can be fixed, which we have to remind ourselves of every day. They put mom on a feeding tube a few days ago, and she has been receiving the food very well.
As Geoff posted, we have been in the room several times when they have brought her out of sedation. They do this twice a day to check her neurological responses... asking her to wiggle her toes and fingers, which she does with flying colors. We try to be there each evening when they "wake" her, so that we can at least tell her that we love her. Even though she can't talk to us, we and the nurses feel it is important for her to see us and to know we are here. It is the most difficult part of our days, however. When she opens her eyes and sees us, tears stream down her face and she often looks scared and agitated. It takes all my strength to stay in the room with her, seeing her this way. Last night, Geoff and I told her that she will be able to speak to us within a couple of days. We let her know that she will be okay, that she will walk again, and that we are in constant contact with her doctors on their course of action. We tell her that Thatcher is being well cared for and we pass along well wishes from all of you.
I am awaiting results of a CT scan, which I had done Tuesday of my spine. My bruises are turning a lovely shade of purple and blue, and my left knee, which must have been bashed into the dashboard, is healing. The bruise on my forehead is almost gone and the cut on my nose has healed. I move around like a 90 year-old, but I think I have more mobility each day. It's just my back that causes the most pain at this point.
Oh - a little about the woman who hit us... 21 years old. Her birthday was last Wednesday, Geoff & Heather's wedding day. She had been driving for 2 miles going the wrong way on I-80. All reports are consistent... that she was driving straight as an arrow, never swerving, at around 60 miles per hour. She was released from the hospital faster than I was, without a scratch, and taken directly to jail. She sits there with 3 felony convictions so far. Toxicology reports are not in yet, but the investigating officer suspects that she was under the influence of meth-amphetamines or Ecstasy. We are still waiting to find out if she was insured. Initial reports were that she is uninsured and doesn't have a license. She was driving her sister's car.
I'll post more later. I do want to write my perspective on what happened. It's hard to recount, but I know I want to do it. I will say that mom and I had a great week in SF prior to the crash Friday. We laughed so hard, we almost fell over on several occasions. Something about mom and me trying to navigate SF is quite hysterical. We laugh more out here than anywhere. We did lots of cooking... prepping for Geoff & Heather's BBQ and making cupcakes for the weekend trip, which mom called "Operation Cupcake." She even answered her phone "Operation Cupcake" when Geoff called her on Thursday. Thursday night, we took a break from cooking and went to see "Spring Awakening", which I had seen on Broadway and insisted we go see together. We had a blast and both loved it. We finished the evening w/ Thai food at 10:30PM.... a perfect night for the two of us. As much as I would love to be pain free right now, I am grateful that I was in the car with mom. Just before the crash, we were, once again, laughing our asses off about something. So, at least we entered into this adventure together, laughing.
We're off to the hospital. Mom's surgery is scheduled for 12:30 PST.
Mom is, clearly, in very serious condition. However, the doctors reports have been encouraging. She is very fortunate to have not suffered trauma to her head, neck, spine or pelvis. All that is broken can be fixed, which we have to remind ourselves of every day. They put mom on a feeding tube a few days ago, and she has been receiving the food very well.
As Geoff posted, we have been in the room several times when they have brought her out of sedation. They do this twice a day to check her neurological responses... asking her to wiggle her toes and fingers, which she does with flying colors. We try to be there each evening when they "wake" her, so that we can at least tell her that we love her. Even though she can't talk to us, we and the nurses feel it is important for her to see us and to know we are here. It is the most difficult part of our days, however. When she opens her eyes and sees us, tears stream down her face and she often looks scared and agitated. It takes all my strength to stay in the room with her, seeing her this way. Last night, Geoff and I told her that she will be able to speak to us within a couple of days. We let her know that she will be okay, that she will walk again, and that we are in constant contact with her doctors on their course of action. We tell her that Thatcher is being well cared for and we pass along well wishes from all of you.
I am awaiting results of a CT scan, which I had done Tuesday of my spine. My bruises are turning a lovely shade of purple and blue, and my left knee, which must have been bashed into the dashboard, is healing. The bruise on my forehead is almost gone and the cut on my nose has healed. I move around like a 90 year-old, but I think I have more mobility each day. It's just my back that causes the most pain at this point.
Oh - a little about the woman who hit us... 21 years old. Her birthday was last Wednesday, Geoff & Heather's wedding day. She had been driving for 2 miles going the wrong way on I-80. All reports are consistent... that she was driving straight as an arrow, never swerving, at around 60 miles per hour. She was released from the hospital faster than I was, without a scratch, and taken directly to jail. She sits there with 3 felony convictions so far. Toxicology reports are not in yet, but the investigating officer suspects that she was under the influence of meth-amphetamines or Ecstasy. We are still waiting to find out if she was insured. Initial reports were that she is uninsured and doesn't have a license. She was driving her sister's car.
I'll post more later. I do want to write my perspective on what happened. It's hard to recount, but I know I want to do it. I will say that mom and I had a great week in SF prior to the crash Friday. We laughed so hard, we almost fell over on several occasions. Something about mom and me trying to navigate SF is quite hysterical. We laugh more out here than anywhere. We did lots of cooking... prepping for Geoff & Heather's BBQ and making cupcakes for the weekend trip, which mom called "Operation Cupcake." She even answered her phone "Operation Cupcake" when Geoff called her on Thursday. Thursday night, we took a break from cooking and went to see "Spring Awakening", which I had seen on Broadway and insisted we go see together. We had a blast and both loved it. We finished the evening w/ Thai food at 10:30PM.... a perfect night for the two of us. As much as I would love to be pain free right now, I am grateful that I was in the car with mom. Just before the crash, we were, once again, laughing our asses off about something. So, at least we entered into this adventure together, laughing.
We're off to the hospital. Mom's surgery is scheduled for 12:30 PST.
Update
It seems like it has been a lifetime since the crash, but it has been just 5 days. First, thank you all so much for all your support. We would have been in a real rough spot without the love and selflessness of our friends and family. Again, thank you so much. The phone has been ringing off the hook, and it has been difficult to keep everyone up do date, so I decided a blog will be simplest. If you want to talk to us, please call. This is mainly to be sure that no one is left out of our long list of people to contact.
Most of you know the deal with Jen and Mom's injuries, but here they are again. Jen had some bruising to her face, arms and legs, with a large scrape on her knee. She was knocked unconcious and has severe back pain with somewhat limited mobility. She is awaiting results of a CT scan. Mom, after swerving as best as she could, took the brunt of the impact, emerging with two compound fractures of the femurs, a broken right humerus, broken right thumb, broken right tibia and fibula by the ankle, broken left foot, several broken ribs and a collapsed lung. It is truly unbelievable that she lived. Airbags. Heather and I have really seen the light on car safety and will be selling the Miata. We will replace her car with something like a Subaru Outback. 5 Star crash rating. Gotta have it.
At this point Mom has had her femurs plated and pinned. She will need bone grafts down the road on her left femur. Tomorrow she is scheduled to have the remaining orthopedic surgeries done, which will be the humerus, thumb, ankle and foot. Swelling is a big issue, so the ortho has been waiting until it goes down. She has been running a bit of a fever, but they have her under a cooling blanket and it seems to be under control. She is still on the ventilator so she has been unable to talk. She has woken up and has responded to the nurses, Jennifer, Heather and me, but her sedation is very heavy. There is much to say, but I am tired. I'll post after the surgery. Feel free to leave comments, as I'm sure mom will love to read them when she wakes up from all of this, and Jennifer too as she heals. It just does not seem real.
Take care,
Geoff
Most of you know the deal with Jen and Mom's injuries, but here they are again. Jen had some bruising to her face, arms and legs, with a large scrape on her knee. She was knocked unconcious and has severe back pain with somewhat limited mobility. She is awaiting results of a CT scan. Mom, after swerving as best as she could, took the brunt of the impact, emerging with two compound fractures of the femurs, a broken right humerus, broken right thumb, broken right tibia and fibula by the ankle, broken left foot, several broken ribs and a collapsed lung. It is truly unbelievable that she lived. Airbags. Heather and I have really seen the light on car safety and will be selling the Miata. We will replace her car with something like a Subaru Outback. 5 Star crash rating. Gotta have it.
At this point Mom has had her femurs plated and pinned. She will need bone grafts down the road on her left femur. Tomorrow she is scheduled to have the remaining orthopedic surgeries done, which will be the humerus, thumb, ankle and foot. Swelling is a big issue, so the ortho has been waiting until it goes down. She has been running a bit of a fever, but they have her under a cooling blanket and it seems to be under control. She is still on the ventilator so she has been unable to talk. She has woken up and has responded to the nurses, Jennifer, Heather and me, but her sedation is very heavy. There is much to say, but I am tired. I'll post after the surgery. Feel free to leave comments, as I'm sure mom will love to read them when she wakes up from all of this, and Jennifer too as she heals. It just does not seem real.
Take care,
Geoff
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Raw recount of the crash
We were off to a great weekend after our wedding on Wed. It was a beautiful fall bay area day. Sunny skies, no breeze, just perfect. Heather and I had stayed up late making the final cupcakes, frosting and ganache for the weekend. Mom and Jennifer had worked tirelessly on the preparations all week, starting with the BBQ and culminating in the weekend food and fun. We were going to Shinneyboo Creek cabins to celebrate our wedding with friends and family. On the way out of town, we were running a bit late, we grabbed food at Bi-rite and got some gas. Mom and Jennifer were driving Heather’s Golf, loaded down with the karaoke gear, all the wine and food, bikes and gear. Heather and I were in the Miata which did not have too much of a load. It was uneventful as we crossed the Bay Bridge and headed up I-80. Heather and I were eating a sandwich and some chips as we drove along in the carpool lane at about 70-75. We chatted about the weekend to come and the fun we would have. We were all so looking forward to the time together in the mountains. Mom and Jen were following behind us with Mom driving. As we sped along the car ahead of us suddenly swerved to the right. Immediately there was a car coming directly at us in the carpool lane. It was going the wrong way, driving against traffic.
I had no time to think and pulled the wheel hard to the right, missing the car by inches. I looked into the rearview mirror as I saw the car disappear behind a large black truck. I saw an explosion of car parts and knew that there was a head-on collision. I hoped that it was not my mom and sister. Heather’s and my bikes rocketed into the middle of the expressway and I knew that they had been hit. I started screaming “they hit mom and jen, they hit mom and jen” as I braked the car to a stop in the middle lane. Heather was screaming, and I jumped out and began sprinting back towards my mom and sister. As I ran past the car that struck them, I saw the driver leaning back on the seat, unconscious, airbag deployed, with smoke coming from under the crushed hood.
I then saw Heather's Golf, the car mom was driving with Jen in the passenger's seat. The front of the car was absolutely destroyed. It was smashed back to the windshield, which was broken, and the front windows were both broken out. They had to be killed. I almost fell as I got to the driver's door where I saw Mom and Jen both slumped forward, unconscious, over the deflated airbags. The entire time I was screaming "no, no, no" in complete disbelief. Heather had run to the passenger's side and was screaming over and over as people started to gather around the car. I knelt down in the glass and gently cradled my mom's head. "Mom, mom. Talk to me, please talk to me. Someone fucking help me get her out of the car! Mom, I'm here." She started to make noises and I could tell she was hurt badly. Her left leg had a huge lump that I could see through her pants and was obviously broken. "Talk to me, talk to me! Someone help me!" I could see Jennifer starting to stir, and Heather was helping her to get out of the car.
As they began to walk around the car, I stood up and realized that mom's seat had been pushed so far forward that she was smashed under the steering wheel. I knelt back down and tried to scoot the seat back, but the tracks were destroyed. By this time she said "get me out of here, I can't feel my legs." "I'm going to get you out mom, don't worry. You guys help me tear this door out of the way so we can scoot this seat back!" We tried to bend the door backward out of the way, and then a guy arrived with a 4 foot long piece of pipe. I grabbed it from him and tried to leverage the seat back somewhat to relieve the pressure on mom's chest and thighs. It would not budge. I tried to crank the angle adjuster, but everything was just too bent. There was no movement possible. "You guys help me bend this seat back, I need all of you to help!" We began pushing on the seat back, with me in the back seat, barefoot, pulling the seat as hard as I could. It would flex a bit, but would not stay. "I'm a nurse, and I need you to stay back from the car," said a woman in street clothes. "Fuck you, get the fuck away from the car, we've got to get her out!"
I was in a mad fury scrambling back and forth, pushing the seat, pulling it back, in the passenger seat trying to relieve any pressure. I noticed a large lump in mom's right arm, and I knew it had to be broken as well. "This is not what we are fucking doing today!" I thought over and over. There was blood on her face, around her nose and mouth. I had no idea if she was bleeding internally or not, but I was sure she would die at the scene. There was blood on my clothes, and I had many cuts and scrapes that I would not notice until later. It occurred to me that the jack might be helpful, so I frantically sprinted to the driver's door and unlatched the hatch. All the stuff for the weekend - cupcakes, karaoke equipment, cd's, bocce set, clothes bags - I threw out onto the freeway as I focused on the one tool in the car that might have enough force to help. I found the jack and ran to the passenger's side. Mom was moaning and I futilely looked at the jack and the car's smashed interior, hoping to see the magic placement that would allow me to move the seat back. There was nothing. I felt so helpless and useless. My entire perception of the world had been turned upside down. We were meeting 60 friends at the cabins, not pulling my family from a crushed car.
Emt's began arriving and asked me to move aside. I ran back to mom and told her that they were there to help and that she was going to be OK. Jennifer was sitting on the side of the freeway, leaning against the divider where Heather had taken her. "Are you OK Jen?" She gave a jumbled, nonsensical, response. She looked OK physically, but could not make words. Heather ran up to me - "you need to move the Miata out of the way!" It was still sitting in the middle of I-80. I told her the keys were in the ignition, but they were not. I ran to the car and found them on the floorboard under the driver's seat. I have no idea how they got there. Quickly I pulled the Miata out of traffic and ran back to the scene. The EMT's were cutting the car apart, and I started pacing up and down the freeway, hyperventilating. I pulled my phone and called my Dad. "Dad, Jen's OK, but she and mom were in a terrible car accident." I explained as best as I could and got off. I called Ty. By this time the chopper was circling. "Fucking land already!"
With no way to help, I went across the highway into the bushes and took a piss. I was walking through stickers. I was trembling and sick to my stomach. The copter landed in the middle of the freeway. I went back to the scene and the main EMT told me they had her out of the car and would be taking her to Walnut Creek. As they wheeled the gurney towards the copter, I ran across the highway to mom. "Get away from the gurney!" "Mom, mom, you're going to be OK. They are taking you to the hospital. I love you!" Here eyes were open and she looked at me, but did not speak from under the oxygen mask. “You’re going to be fine, they’ll take good care of you.” Running toward the copter, sobbing. "Get away from the helicopter!" I stopped and watched as they wheeled the gurney into the back. Jennifer was already loaded into the ambulace parked just ahead. "You should get in your car before we open traffic so you can get to the hospital as quickly as possible" the cop said. Heather and I waited until the HC lifted off and then ran to the Miata and followed the ambulance to John Muir Trauma center. 85mph most of the way.
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